


Dulce Et Decorum...

by 100demons



Category: Naruto
Genre: AU, Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe, Character Death, F/M, Gen, Lots of angst and sadness and broken crockery, M/M, Post-War, War Era
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-12-07
Updated: 2012-02-02
Packaged: 2017-10-27 01:35:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 35,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/290208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/100demons/pseuds/100demons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three years after a devastating war, a broken Team Gai is reunited to track down a dangerous drug trafficking organization in Tea Country. But can they leave the war and their past behind? [AU]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Death's Darts E'en Flying Feet O'ertake

* * *

1.

Death's darts e'en flying feet o'ertake

* * *

The sound of leaves rustling in the wind, the smell of ash and smoke and chakra flavoring the air, the heat pressing against her body like a second skin; Tenten breathed in deeply and smiled softly. Even the hot burn of the air in her nose was welcome and cherished; _only in Konoha_ , she thought fondly, and stepped off the branch and into empty space.

Like a cat leaping down from a fence, she landed with an easy grace, every move neat and economical. Her standard issue uniform was dusty and creased from days of travel, her vest covered in dried oil and smelled vaguely of dried blood; catching sight of the tall wooden gates she hadn't seen in a little over two years, Tenten's breath caught in her throat and she tugged at the hem of her shirt a little self-consciously. Two years and four months away from Konoha and she came home looking like something Jiang used to fish out of the garbage cans in the alley behind her apartment. What _had been_ her apartment, she corrected herself, the familiar twinge of pain plucking at her chest.

Pushing a tiny burst of chakra in her feet, Tenten flickered across the dirt roach and stopped abruptly before the outpost, slapping a scroll she had just palmed down on the dusty wooden desk before her. Pale brown eyes squinted at her inquisitively and Tenten felt a little disoriented by those big eyes and the hitae-ate framing them; there was something about them that made her uncomfortable and a little…sad. Bewildered, she cleared her throat and stated clearly, "012573, Sato Tenten."

"Sato, Sato, Sato…" the slight figure manning the over-glorified guard-post muttered under his breath as his quick fingers thumbed through the pages of the large registry. "Ah, I'm sorry, but there seems to be no record of—"

Tenten cut him off impatiently with a swift cut of her hand. "I'm not under the general active list. Check the off-duty roster, under section 5 if I remember correctly." _Chuunin these days_ , Tenten thought critically, watching the boy scramble around the little wooden shack for a different book; a dusky pink crept up his cheeks and towards his ears, turning him the color of a particularly ripe strawberry. He was acting like an untested genin who had just—

"Aha!" the boy exclaimed excitedly. "012573…" He licked a finger and traced the short column of numbers down until he hit her name, squinting a little at the tiny faded letters. "Sato, Tenten. Jou- jounin."

She nodded curtly in approval and waved a hand at the scroll she had given over. "My travel visa. I trust it'll be taken care of…?"

"Yes of course, Sato-san—"

Her hands gathered in the traditional seal, Tenten caught one last sight of those brown eyes and again, she felt that strange sorrow gather up in the center of her chest. His eyes, they looked so…she struggled to find the right word, tried to find a way to name that sudden, strange pain. And she realized, right when the chakra-leaves swirled around her feet and swept her away, that they reminded her of her own eyes. Before the war.

* * *

"But, Lee-sensei, we're so _tired_ —"

"Five more laps! You should make use of your Youth while you can and train harder, so you can become—"

"LEE-SENSEI!"

Lee beamed at his students, flashing his beloved Genin what they had termed, Nice Guy Pose #56. "Teamwork! I am impressed at your growing unity! Alright—you can break for lunch fifteen minutes ear—"

He was quickly drowned out by the delighted shrieks of his little demon-children; plumes of dust rose from the ground where his three wayward students had been standing only moments before. Lee laughed, amused, and followed the sound of growling stomachs and loud bickering to the wooden table standing in the far side of the meadow.

"Keiko-chan," he called out reprovingly and the tiny black-haired menace that had been pulling her taller teammate's hair subsided reluctantly. "He started it," she muttered rebelliously but acquiesced when Ryuu (the other boy who had been watching on in quiet amusement) passed her a black-lacquered bento box.

"I'll get you for that, you little witch," Ichirou muttered, but with no real heat, and dug eagerly into his own lunch. The three had long fallen into the familiar habit of hair-pulling, name-calling and long-suffering patience, a script they had written over the past year with the occasional help from their over-bearing and sparkling green sensei. Lee would have been more alarmed if Keiko and Ichirou had not been bickering or if Ryuu had opened his mouth for anything besides breathing or eating.

"Like you have the ba—" Keiko stopped and scrunched her nose in frustration. "The—the _brains_ to do anything." She breathed a quiet sigh of relief, glad that she had not slipped and earned another lecture from Lee-sensei on what was 'appropriate' language for genin. Lee hid a smile and pulled out a couple of bars from a vest pocket, casually tossing it at each of his three students. "Eat up," he urged, "you need food to train in the Spring of Your Youth!"

"Candy!" Ichirou and Keiko chorused greedily, eagerly tearing through the wrappers only to find gray lumps of matter staring right back at them. "This isn't candy," Ichirou whispered in horrified shock.

"Of course it isn't!" Lee boomed proudly. "Energy bars, to keep up your strength and fuel your training—"

A gray block of _something_ soared through the air and landed with perfect accuracy in a bird's nest tucked on a tree branch high above the table. A flock of birds squawked in fear and fluttered out of the tree, wheeling around the crown in an excited frenzy, filling the air with their harsh caws.

"Well," Lee said slowly and thoughtfully. "You have very good aim, Keiko-chan."

* * *

"That one looks like Jiang-kun," Ichirou commented lazily, pointing at a gray lumpy sort of cloud on the far left of the sky.

"No," Keiko decided firmly, "It looks like your fat stupid head." Ichirou chewed on his grass-stalk a little more before snapping back easily, "How could it look like my head when it looks like your big butt?"

"I DO NOT HAVE A BIG BUTT—"

"That one looks like Lee-sensei's scar."

Ichirou and Keiko shot disbelieving looks at their quiet teammate, who often went entire days or weeks without saying anything.

"His scar?" they echoed.

"Aa," Ryuu confirmed, his pewter gray eyes wide and thoughtful. "The one on the bottom of his jaw."

"No way," Keiko mused, tangling her fingers in her short dark hair. "They're like lines not…" She squinted a little more at the cloud that Ryuu had pointed out, suddenly unsure.

"It does look sort of like it," Ichirou said diplomatically. "They have that blotchy stretchy old look."

"Huh," was Keiko's eloquent response.

"I wonder how he got it?"

Ryuu glanced at Ichiriou curiously, cocking his head like a bird that knew something interesting was happening. "Probably fighting a hundred missing-nin on an S-rank mission," Keiko said bloodthirstily, her eyes shining with the idea of all those corpses littering the battlefield.

"Or maybe his ex-girlfriend threw a billion kunai at him because she was secretly an evil spy from another village and—"

"No, he was fighting an entire _village_ of ZOMBIES!"

"No—no, he was on the secret mission to find the greatest ninjutsu scroll of all time when—"

"You're early for training! EXCELLENT!" came Lee-sensei's loud and enthusiastic voice and the arguing pair suddenly blanched at his intrusion.

"Get up, get up! We need to start warming up and begin taijutsu practice! The Springtime of Youth waits for no—"

"Lee-sensei."

Lee did a quick double take and his eyebrows rose as he traced the voice back to the tallest and quietest student on his team: Ryuu.

"What is it, Ryuu-kun?" he asked encouragingly, rubbing his bandaged fingers together.

"Would it be inappropriate for—"

Lee waved Ryuu's concerns aside with an eager hand. "I'm your sensei," he said warmly. "You can ask me anything."

"Your scar. Did you—where did you…" Ryuu's voice trailed off, having exhausted his quota of words for the week. He blinked expectantly, short brown hair fluttering in the breeze. Ichirou and Keiko were uncharacteristically quiet, waiting for what they assumed would be the answer to their earlier argument.

Of all the questions Lee had expected Ryuu to ask, this was not one of them. One of his hands rose reflexively to touch the two jagged scars that ran from the corner of his mouth and his chin and ended right underneath his ear, parallel to his jaw. They were old and pink, the scar tissue long healed over in the years since the war.

"You know about the Fourth Shinobi Secret War?" he asked distantly, his hand still tracing the scars that were etched onto his skin. Even Sakura-san, with all her power and skill, could not heal these scars over. There were lots of things, he had realized over the years of the war, that she could not heal. All three of his student nodded slowly, comprehension slowly dawning on their faces.

"I was part of a specialized combat team—my—my genin team. We were skilled in combating the enemy from all ranges and as such we were sent to the front lines almost immediately." Lee fell silent, his eyes looking far off into the distance, as if he were gazing back in time and through the years to another age. A long, heavy silence settled uncomfortably over the trio and Keiko finally drew up the courage to break it with a quiet, "Did you get hurt during the war?" Lee suddenly snapped back to the present and looked upon the solemn grave faces of his students, his heart aching with an emotion he couldn't quite name.

"You could say that," he said gently. Keiko's fierce eyes, Ichirou's crooked smile, Ryuu's brow stitched together in concentration; his _team_ , his _family_ , his _everything_. Only now, years after Gai-sensei had passed away, years after his own genin team had scattered to the four winds of the earth, did Lee understand what Gai-sensei had given each and every one of his students.

The magnitude of the gift staggered him and Lee felt the familiar pain forming in the center of his chest; he balled his hands into tight fists and blinked the tears away. He had a duty now, to pass on what Gai-sensei had given him, to guide and cherish and protect the future he had been entrusted with.

To love them, just as Gai-sensei had loved him.

"Fifteen laps around Konoha! WHO'S WITH ME?" His students fell eagerly into their old routine, Keiko and Ichirou taking the lead and Ryuu following up with a long-suffering look. Their sad looks had disappeared, leaving only bright eyes and loud voices behind; Lee preferred it that way. They would be his genin for a few more years yet…a few more years of laughter and innocence…a few more years to love them still.

* * *

The cup of tea was warm against her fingers, cradled in the palm of her gloved hands. The aroma of Yin Junmei black tea curled into tiny flickers of steam and if she looked hard enough, Tenten could almost see little flickers of creatures moving too fast for the naked eye to see.

"I haven't had tea like this in almost—oh almost fifteen years," Liu Jia sighed contentedly, the corners of her eyes crinkling in pleasure. "And with my _bao-bao_ home, everything is as it should be."

"Māma," Tenten flushed, avoiding her mother's sharp eyes, her fingertips idly drumming a _rat-tat-tat_ on the porcelain teacup. Looking at her mother directly was—odd, to say the least. She had streaks of gray in her hair now, more laugh lines and worry lines carved onto her forehead, the skin on the backs of her hands spotted and wrinkled with age. Tenten found, much to her dismay and sorrow that her mother had grown older while she was away.

"Two years away- no almost three years and all you have to say to your mother is _māma_!" Jia teased lightly, reaching out with a gentle hand and cupping her daughter's face.

"Two years and four months," Tenten defended, but leaned into her mother's touch. Here, in the small ordinary civilian flat that Jia had moved into only a few years before, Tenten finally relaxed, slowly letting her guard down.

"So it is," Jia agreed amiably. "And what a long two years and four months it has been! So many things I have gathered over the years to tell you but when I finally see you, all I can do is speak about tea!"

"Very good tea," her daughter grinned impishly. "After all, I brought it directly from Tea Country myself."

Jia's eyes flickered briefly with something Tenten couldn't quite catch, before resolving into a quiet pride.

"Is it…" Jia began slowly, as if tasting the words in her mouth and finding them unsuitable. She settled for, "What did you think?"

"It was—it was _different_ ," Tenten mused. "Similar enough in some ways but so _different_ in others. The customs, the people, the language— Do you miss it there, Māma?" she asked abruptly, her eyes unreadable.

"Some days," her mother sighed. "When the wind blows a certain way or when I hear the cry of the nightingale and think of the days of my childhood…"

"You could go back—you could—" Tenten bit the bottom of her lip, her fingers tightening around the teacup. "I could help you go back. Back to Tea Country."

Jia smiled sadly and reached over and tucked a strand of hair behind Tenten's ear, something she had used to do when Tenten was a child small enough to sit on her lap. Her daughter had not been so small for many years now and she missed that small child sometimes, the little girl who had begged for her first set of kunai, her little baby with Takeshi's wide brown eyes and chubby little fingers. The woman who sat before her now, with those old eyes and calloused fingers, who had stopped wearing her hair in a little's girls buns many years before and now was tied in a utilitarian ponytail, who had fought and killed and spilled her blood, who had loved and lost—Jia blinked back tears and drew her hand back to her lap. _My baby_ , she thought with a strange mixture of sorrow and pride, _is all grown up._

"My home is here now," she said gently. "My home is here in Konoha. I left for Takeshi but I stayed for you, my precious treasure, my _bao-bao_."

* * *

"Yamanaka Ino, you know her? She sold the flower shop, said she wanted to—" Jia furrowed her brow and leaned in closer, as if the news were S-Rank information. "—to go back to active duty. Word says she might be going back to—" Here, Jia looked around furtively and then continued softly, "—to ANBU."

Tenten hid an amused laugh and quirked a brow. "Oh, really?"

"Really," Jia affirmed. "After her mother, Hanako-san—she fell ill a little over a year ago and with Inoichi-san gone, Ino had to take over the shop. A very nice girl, a little…exuberant for my tastes though," she finished tactfully. This was news to Tenten.

"Hanako-san is sick?"

"A stroke," Jia shook her head sadly. "After—after well…after Inoichi-san passed during the war, Hanako-san…"

Three years since the war had ended and still, _still_ it managed to spread it vicious little claws everywhere and slowly drag people under. Tenten bit down a snarl and forced herself to breathe in slowly. She had worked with Yamanaka-san closely during the earlier years of the war but had only heard about his horrific death at the hands of some Kumo-nin when she had returned from the front lines to recover. Mutilated and apparently crucified on a tree as an example when he had refused to break under torture. Tenten had thrown up when she saw the photos the Kumo-nin had sent along as a lovely little Christmas gift the year before the war ended. Tenten would bet her entire savings account that those photos had a hand in Hanako's sudden decline in health. Breathing in deeply, Tenten forced herself to listen to her mother's pleasant chatter, the words washing over her like a gentle wave.

"…and Ryuu-chan, the boy the next apartment over, what a lovely child! He's the one taking care of Jiang, you know. He does his parents proud with his work as a genin now…and the Rokudaime shot up another few inches, did you know that? Still growing! Proof of a man's strength is his height, my own mother said and look at him!...Kokoro-san, you know him, the grocer on Maple and Vine? His daughter…And…by the way, did you know that Lee-kun is Ryuu-chan's jounin-sensei! Lee-kun! _Our_ Lee! That's all his mother talks about now you know…"

Tenten's ears pricked up at the mention of a name she hadn't heard spoken aloud in almost two years.

" _Lee_ ," she said slowly in disbelief. "A Jounin- _sensei?_ "

Jia nodded vigorously. "About six months ago, he passed his first team and I've heard that they're one of the best teams around! Of course, it's Lee-kun's team, so it must be the best," Jia said loyally, her eyes twinkling with mirth.

"Huh," Tenten digested. Oddly enough, the idea of Lee being a teacher didn't seem so crazy. In fact, it almost seemed… _normal_. She could almost see him now in that green spandex outfit and his orange legwarmers, striking his Nice Guy Pose and shouting about the Springtime of Youth! just like…just like… Tenten skittered away from the thought, refusing to follow that thought to its natural conclusion.

"Speaking of Lee's job… _bao-bao_ , are you staying this time?" Jia asked meaningfully, her eyes flicking at the teacup in front of her and then back at her daughter's face. Tenten's face smoothed into an unreadable mask and picked up her cup delicately.

"A lot of it's classified information," she said calmly, turning the tea round and round and round in her hands. Her years abroad in Tea had taught her much more than the different varieties of tea and their meanings.

"I should hope that you can at least tell me something so I know whether or not to at least prepare you a meal. You didn't even send me word that you were coming!"

"Māma," Tenten said exasperatedly, her cool mask slipping in front of her mother. "You know I _can't_ tell you much. I don't even know how long I'll be staying. The Hokage calls and his ninja listen." Tenten shrugged lopsidedly and pointedly drank her tea.

"So you're still working?"

"Being the Assistant Ambassador is a great honor." Jia heard the unspoken words and acquiesced, sighing a little in regret.

"Then send your poor mother some letters! I'm lucky if I get anything more than a note every six months."

Tenten smiled sheepishly and set her cup of tea down, reaching out for her mother's hand. "I'll try to be better about it." Jia smiled gently and squeezed her daughter's hand. "Thank you, _bao-bao_. I know you will."

* * *

 **ID** 012587  
HYUUGA NEJI  
JOUNIN  
Your presence is required at the Hokage Tower at 0900 hours on 06-26.

Hyuuga Neji folded up the missive with slender fingers, watching the hawk fly away into the morning sky, wings beating slowly and majestically. No sooner had he left the Corps did missions come flying at him with regularity, though none so as brief and abrupt as this one. He tucked the folded piece of paper into a sleeve and turned towards the main compound, leaving the beautiful bright day behind. If his suspicions were correct, he would need to inform Hiashi-sama about an extended mission leave.

"Neji-niisan!"

Neji inclined his head at Hinata, who was waving gently near the sliding doors. Her silky bluish-black hair gleamed in the sunlight, a faint halo of light circling the crown of her head like a circlet of jewels.

"Hinata-sama," he responded quietly, his eyes tracing the delicate embroidery lining the edge of her sleeves, avoiding the black band of cloth that was wrapped around her eyes. It set his teeth on edge every time he looked at them; a double reminder of his failure and his doom. "Would you be so kind as to inform Hiashi-sama that I will be unable to attend the morning training session with the under-twelves."

"Aa," she responded softly. "Of course. Will you be back for lunch?"

"Unlikely. But thank you anyway." Hinata nodded, a soft smile tugging at her lips and she disappeared behind the sliding door, leaving Neji alone with his regrets and a piece of paper that seemed to weigh more than it should.

* * *

When she caught sight of a green flak jacket, bowl cut hair, and green spandex, Tenten barely stopped herself from gasping aloud. _Gai-sensei_ , she thought for one disorienting moment before the figure turned around and instead Lee's bright face beamed at her.

"Good morning—" Lee stopped and his wide eyes widened even more, his eyebrows threatening to merge with his hairline. " _Tenten_."

Only years of training and experience as Konohagakure's Assistant Ambassador kept Tenten's jaw from hitting the worn wooden floor. In a tightly controlled voice, she said, "Hello, Lee-san. Neji-san," she added, catching sight of the Hyuuga standing at attention next to Lee, his face as pale and unreadable as ever. For the first time in three years, what was left of Team Gai stood together in the Hokage's Office.

"Hokage-sama," she bowed formally. "My apologies for my tardiness. There is no—"

"Maa, maa, Tenten-chan," Naruto interrupted her cheerily behind the mountainous desk, waving a clawed hand around carelessly. "We're all friends here, eh? No need to be all formal and stuff."

"Of course, Hokage-sama."

Naruto pouted a little at her formality but grinned to see the collection of ninja before him, standing as tall and proud as the day he had first been inducted as the Rokudaime Hokage a little over three years ago.

"It's good to see you all again," he said affectionately. "Not you, Neji," he winked conspiratorially. "I've seen too much of you the past three years." Neji inclined his head, acknowledging Naruto's remark, but otherwise remaining silent.

"And Gejimayu! How's your team doing? Er…it's Ryuu-kun, Keiko-chan and Ichirou-kun, right? I should take you guys out to ramen sometime, to congratulate you on your mission record! A hundred percent completion rate!" Lee relaxed visibly at Naruto's boisterous words and accepted the praise with a proud nod of his head.

"My students would be proud to learn from such a Youthful and Dynamic figure such as yourself, Hokage-sama."

"Heh, they'd better be," Naruto chuckled, rifling through his desk for something or another. "Damned paperwork. I'm going to die from it, it's disgusting. Huh, no wonder Tsuande-no-baachan was so quick to shove the hat on me… Aha!" He held up a stack of scrolls and a sheaf papers he had fished from the bottom of the mountain range of paperwork that currently sat immobile on his desk. Carelessly tossing it over to Neji (who caught it instinctively), he sat back in his chair with a sigh of relief.

"Tenten-chan. I know you're wondering why we called you back from your posting so soon—three years ahead of schedule, eh?" The entire time, Tenten had been standing rigidly, her hands clenched into tight, tense fists. She had fought to ignore the soft chakra presences humming right next to her that were as familiar as her own, and had tried to focus, in vain, on the grain of the wooden floor underneath her sandals. At Naruto's question she jerked her gaze from the ground and towards his piercing blue eyes.

"Your will is my command, Hokage-sama," she stated coolly, projecting every scrap of calm she had into her voice.

"Heh, s'no wonder you're doing so well in Tea. Kentaro made a regular diplomat out of you, didn't he?"

"He has been an excellent…mentor." A flash of green and a gleaming smile flashed unbidden to the forefront of her mind and a bright, "Yosh, Tenten!" Strangely, her eyes threatened to burn a little at the thought of…of…Tenten wrenched her mind away from that topic and again tried to focus on the man before her. Naruto's bright eyes missed nothing as he gave her a long look she could barely decipher.

"I bet. Anyway, your last reports along with some uh…other information we've been gathering, well…Let me start at the beginning. It'll be easier." Directing his gaze at all three of them now, Naruto laced his fingers together, the claws at his fingertips glinting faintly in the morning light. "Two years back we sent Tenten off to Tea under the official role as Assistant Ambassador to uh facil- facil-whatever—to help Tea and Fire Country out, especially cause Tea doesn't have its own Hidden Village and relies on Konoha a lot. But Tenten, you were also there to gather information, especially on what Tea Country exports."

"Opium," Tenten filled in grimly. Naruto nodded gravely in agreement, the motion at odds with his bright yellow hair and normally cheery blue eyes. "Drug cartels –criminal organizations that control the opium trade—have been popping up all over the border between Tea and Fire right now. They're causing trouble, desecrating villages, crops, demanding protection prices from Fire and Tea villagers. It's a mess," Naruto finished bluntly. "The Fire Daimyo has asked us himself to personally deal with them so I want to send you three out. You lot are my best.

"I mean it," he emphasized, when he saw Lee about to protest their status. "You guys were one of our biggest aces during the war and you're even better now. We need your—" he nodded at Tenten here, "—expertise in Tea and experience as an Intel op and your—" here he nodded at Neji, "—eyes and your taijutsu, Lee, to get this team home in case it goes FUBAR.

"I can't make you accept this but—"

"Don't be ridiculous, Hokage-sama." Neji's quiet arrogance made the title seem like an insult. _How very Hyuuga of him,_ Naruto grumbled internally. "I can't speak for anyone else here, but I willingly accept." _  
_

Lee flinched imperceptibly at Neji's words and wondered a little sadly at how the strongest and most united team in Konoha had been reduced to this. Three Jounin who had stopped speaking to each other when the war had ended. "I accept as well, Hokage-sama. How can I refuse when the success of this mission would aid so many?" Lee gave Naruto a thumbs-up and a sparkling smile, taking care not to show anything but pride and excitement. His own inner conflict, he would work out later. With lots of punching dummies and trees to pummel.

"And you, Tenten?" Naruto asked gently. _  
_

Tenten gave him a small smile in response and saluted, fist over heart, like a proper Konoha jounin. "I would be honored to serve, Hokage-sama."

"Good," he approved. "I knew I could count on you guys! You'll be going under an official mission dispatched by the minor lord controlling Tianjin Port. He requires bodyguards to protect him while he holds the trade negotiations and this'll provide you with some official cover while you investigate. Neji, you have the mission parameters but I want to make this clear now: I can't afford to lose a single one of you. You're the best in the village and you better come back alive or I'll assign you all D-Rank missions for the next year." All three blinked a little at the incongruous threat.

"Great!" Naruto beamed. "I expect you back in a couple of months, then. Dismissed!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case this wasn't obvious, it's an AU fic of the Continuation variety. I'll be picking and choosing things to incorporate from canon, but I think it's safe to say there won't be much of Sasuke/Madara/Kishimoto's Fourth Shinobi War here.
> 
> (China = Tea Country)


	2. Nor Spare A Recreant Chivalry, A Back That Cowers, Or Loins That Quake

* * *

2.

Nor spare a recreant chivalry,  
A back that cowers, or loins that quake

* * *

"Promoted to jounin and he can't even celebrate it," Tenten said mournfully, propping her sandaled feet onto Neji's hospital bed, taking care not to get dirt on the snow-white sheets. Lee snored loudly in response on the bed next to Neji's, a tiny trail of saliva trickling down the corner of his mouth and towards the folds of the greenish-yellow hospital gown he was wearing.

"Hey, at least we're all alive!" Tenten mused brightly, giving her unconscious teammates fond looks before turning back to the book in her hand. For a long while, there was nothing but the soft rustle of the pages of the book and slow beeps of the chakra monitors hooked up to her teammates heartbeats. It was nice and quiet for once, a phenomenon that happened once in a blue moon around Team Gai and Tenten was determined to take advantage of it. It wasn't often that she had the chance to read trashy romance novels in her free time without Lee or Gai-sensei poking their noses in and nosing around.

A thousand steady beeps and a couple of wild sex scenes later, Tenten found a pair of grayish white eyes staring intently at the cover of her book. She yelped in surprise before slamming the book closed and tucking it quickly into a pocket sewn into the side of her hakama.

"You're up," she squeaked, a little embarrassed to have been caught reading _A Wind Country Desert Romance: Cry of The Tiger Lily_ in front of her teammate and sparring partner. Neji blinked slowly at her and then formed clumsy signals with his long, slender hands.

"We're safe," she told him reassuringly. "Everyone's in one piece, the mission's complete and we're alive…thanks to you." She grinned at him and punched him lightly on the arm. "You idiot."

Neji blinked at her again, somehow managing to convey his arrogant acceptance of her thanks, a nobleman patiently enduring the affections of a bumbling servant; still, Tenten recognized a victory when she saw it (in the tiny curve of his lips and the laugh lines that deepened in the corner of his eyes) and smiled to herself in satisfaction.

"By the way," she mentioned lightly, as if this were nothing important at all, "you've been promoted. Congratulations, jounin-san."

This time, Neji's face was in total disbelief; it was a little jarring to see his face so open and vulnerable, even for a few short moments… it felt strange, and something in her heart lurched a little at the sight of his wide eyes. Taking care not to let her emotion show on her face, Tenten evaluated the sudden emotional response carefully, before locking it away somewhere deep; now was not exactly the time for deep introspection, not when a jounin Hyuuga capable of reading the tiniest signs of body language was sitting right in front of her, looking dazed and happy.

"Your suicidal stunt apparently convinced Hokage-sama that you were stupid enough to be promoted to jounin," Tenten said wryly, not bothering to hide the pride shining in her eyes. "And you know, your tactical genius and crazy made-up-on-the-spot Hyuuga techniques might have something to do with it. Just a little."

Neji looked at her sharply, mock-affronted on behalf of his crazy made-up-on-the-spot Hyuuga techniques. His fingers were much faster now when he signed at her, swift with years of practice.

"It did save our butts," Tenten agreed, eyes twinkling in the afternoon light. "Thanks."

This time, Neji was the one who looked a little embarrassed, the faintest shade of pink tinting his high cheekbones.

"Ohhh, is that a blush I see?" she teased easily, wiggling gloved fingers at him. "The great Hyuuga Neji, blushing!" The afternoon sunlight quietly withdrew from the hospital room, night sweeping in after with swift graceful movements, but neither of them noticed the slow change in time, wrapped up as they were in their own little world.

* * *

Wordlessly, Tsunade passed Jiraiya the scroll, fingers trembling imperceptibly. He looked at her with wary eyes before pricking his thumb and letting the blood ooze onto the chakra seal binding the scroll. A slight puff of smoke and ash rose into the air and the paper unfurled gracefully in his large palm, like a crane come to rest in a lake after a long journey.

Jiraiya's eyes widened, emotions flickering across his face too quickly for Tsunade to recognize, before settling back into a stone-cold mask that hid everything and betrayed nothing.

Jiraiya's thick calloused fingers dwarfed the neat black strokes burned onto the rice paper but Tsuande knew that they were far more powerful and dangerous than her old teammate was.

 _Lightning has touched the ground. The wind will die._

"God help us all," he whispered weakly. "Another war."

"Kumo and Iwa, united against Sand." Tsunade closed her eyes, unable to stop the grief and pain from welling up inside of her, old scars she had thought long healed opening up again, leaking fresh blood and tears.

"I won't let it happen. I _won't_ ," she said fiercely, her voice tempered with steel and fire and strength. "Not to Konoha, not to my _people._ "

Jiraiya looked at her sadly and crushed the scroll in his hands, letting his chakra tear and transform the bleak words into ash and dust.

"I believe you, Tsunade," he lied and let the ash fall from his hands and into the wind, hoping that it carried the words far, far away from his home.

* * *

"Yamaguchi-sama."

A broad-shouldered man twitched a finger in response, watching the last of the sunset bath the desert dunse in a glorious wash of red and gold, like warm flames licking hungrily at solid stone.

The messenger bowed down low, his forehead so close to the ground, he could count the grains of sand scattered under his eyelashes. "Hantaro-san said that the troops are in position."

Yamaguchi grunted and gave the dunes one long look before turning around and waving a large hand gracefully, sand falling through the gaps of his fingers like tiny drops of solid rain.

"Go—go and fight for our land, the stone of our ancestors," he told the messenger quietly. "Go, and bring honor to our village. Tell Hantaro to begin as soon as night falls."

"Commander," the messenger obeyed reverentially, before melting back into the growing shadows like the wayward wind.

Yamaguchi turned back towards the dying sunlight, his dark eyes cold and unreadable. "Iwa remembers. And we will make you bleed every single drop of blood you have stolen from us—including the life of our Tsuchikage." He clenched his fist tightly, an immovable bolder of fury.

"A Kage for a Kage."

* * *

"They've made the first move," Jiraiya said grimly, crossing his arms over his massive chest. "Gaara's been kidnapped by the Akatsuki. It fits a little too well considering…"

Tsunade sucked in a sharp breath, her amber eyes widening. "You think Iwa is working _with_ Akatsuki? But that's impossible—"

Jiraiya tossed a scroll onto her desk carelessly and it rolled open on impact, stopping only when it covered the length of her desk.

"When Sasuke killed Orochimaru—well—turns out the slimy bastard didn't exactly stay dead. He merged with that other snake-face traitor, Kabuto, turning into some kind of—of—" Jiraiya stopped, unsure how to describe the creature his toads and spies had reported seeing: a scaly creature who fed on the innocent late at night, with gleaming yellow eyes filled with all the cunning of a snake, a forked tongue that slithered and whispered sly words to those with weak wills and hasty minds…

"A monster," Tsunade said hollowly. "He must be back with Akatsuki, controlling them somehow. He gets the jinchuuriki and the youkai chakra to fuel his immortality experiments, Iwa and Kumo get their revenge."

"To think we'd be alive to see the Fourth Shinobi Secret War," Jiraiya said distantly, his eyes looking off into the distance and at the sweep of buildings spread out underneath the Hokage Tower like a majestic flock of birds, sunlight gleaming on the terra cotta roofs.

"We have to try," she said firmly, as if trying to convince herself with her brave words. "We can't give up without—without trying peace talks and negotiations."

Jiraiya scuffed his geta against the hard wooden floor and nodded slowly, as if trying to shake of the doom that settled over his shoulder like a heavy set of armor. "We can try," he agreed softly, watching the sun travel in the sky, the only constant in his life it seemed. "We can try."

* * *

The whispers spread all over Konoha until, like tributaries flowing eagerly into the main river, they grew and grew to cover the whole village with the sound of hushed fear.

 _War_ , people whispered in the little tea shops littering Nakamaru street, in the training grounds where groups of chuunin gathered uneasily, sparring with a ferocity edged with tension. _War_ , the civilians whispered in their quiet little homes and in the grocery stores, in the open parks and in the seedy little bars that most of the civilians gathered. _War_ , the ninja signaled to each other while on guard duty, whispered to each other during training sessions, gossiped on the rooftops. War was coming and there was nothing the Hokage could do to stop it.

ANBU operatives hid in the shadows and listened very, very carefully to the whispers. In the locker rooms and in the mission room at HQ, the silent ninja gathered together. _Is it true?_ , the younger ones would ask the veterans, eyes still innocent and open. Many of the soldiers would shrug and move on, but the fear was there, hiding in each and every heart, growing stronger and stronger every day. Hatake Kakashi was adjusting the chakra string attaching his mask to his face when a new recruit, ninjato still awkward and heavy in her hands, approached him.

 _Inu-san_ , the recruit would whisper, recognizing the shock of gray hair and the long lanky limbs of the Copy Ninja. _What is war like?_

And Hatake Kakashi, chuunin at age six, ANBU at age 14, veteran of the Third Shinobi Secret War, son of the infamous White Fang of Konoha, heir and scion of the Hatake Clan and prized student of the late Yondaime would put a gloved hand on her shoulder and whisper, just as quietly, _I hope you never find out._

* * *

The box was beautifully wrapped in a spray of silver silk, golden dragons twining around the four corners of the cloth and meeting in the knot tied neatly in the top in the shape of a fluttering fan. Gai lifted it with surprisingly gentle hands, his eyes wide with surprise and pleasure.

"Tenten-chan, this is—this is—"

Tenten laughed at the expression on Gai-sensei's face: his love of food and his manners battled over the expensive-looking box and showed clearly on his face; his eyebrows were all twisted up and bunched together like caterpillars meeting for battle.

"It's a gift, Gai-sensei," she teased, gray eyes flashing with mirth. "You know, things people give each other to show their gratitude or—"

"But I can't accept something so—"

"It's a _gift_ ," she repeated, her voice gentle but firm. "Hakutoumochi and macchamochi for my favorite Youthful and Dynamic sensei. Happy birthday, sensei."

The worry lines on Gai's forehead smoothed out and his eyes were glittering in the dim light. His voice was distinctly watery and choked when he said, "You have grown into a beautiful kunoichi, an Exquisite Blossom of Beauty and Youth any sensei would be proud of." Tenten laughed again, her voice bright and clear.

"You're very welcome, sensei. You've—you've been—" Tenten blinked rapidly, trying to force the sudden stinging burn in her eyes away and coughed to clear her suddenly clogged throat. "After chi-chi—"

Gai placed a fatherly hand on Tenten's shoulder and smiled understandingly, the hard lines of his face softening. "He is still there, watching out for you, and I know that he is very proud of who you are and everything that you've accomplished. How could he not be? The finest kunoichi of the village and in all the Five Countries—you are my student after all!"

Tenten smiled through the tears in her eyes and agreed. "I am, aren't I?" Gai heard her unspoken words and felt both pained and proud. His small genin were growing up before his eyes, the Will of Fire burning bright in their fierce eyes, and soon they would surpass even him…Gai felt something settle in heart and found, with a little surprise, that it was happiness.

He had a little more time left with his beloved students. A little more time yet to listen to the sounds of their laughter, a little more time yet to watch out for them, a little more time yet to love them still…

* * *

"Thirty hawks," Neji observed, his voice cool and controlled. "They've been flying all over the village since before dawn."

" _Black wings, black news_ ," Tenten quoted softly, watching the grass dance and flutter in wake of the wind. _You could cut the tension in the air with a dull kunai_ , she mused grimly, fiddling with the forearm sheaths she had tied securely on just a few minutes ago.

"Lee is coming," came the quiet warning and indeed, a green-haze was rushing towards them from the hills, a plume of dust trailing after him, rising in the air like smoke from a fire. _Like the whole world is just waiting to burn_ , Tenten thought, a little surprised at how true it sounded, like a prophecy that was just waiting to be fulfilled.

Closer and closer, Lee came and the knotted dread in Tenten's stomach grew larger and larger. An infinity and a moment later, Lee came hurtling towards the two like a blazing green comet, running a furrow into the meadow in an effort to brake quickly.

"T-t-ten-ten, N-n-neji," Lee panted; sweat plastered his bangs to his forehead, darkening the color of his bright green spandex jumpsuit to the color of a dirty greenish-black bruise.

"Gai- Gai-sensei had a hawk," he sputtered out quickly, clambering out of the freshly-made furrow, clouds of dust still swirling around his body like a heavy mist.

"And?" Tenten urged eagerly, and hoped, _hoped_ with every single fiber of her being that it wasn't true, everything would be all right—

"Konoha has declared war against Iwagakure and Kumogakure."


	3. To Suffer Hardness With good cheer, In Sternest School Of Warfare Bred, Our Youth Should Learn

* * *

3.

To suffer hardness with good cheer,  
In sternest school of warfare bred,  
Our youth should learn

* * *

As soon as she left the office, Tenten did the only thing she could possibly do: she ran away. The buildings blurred into each other, a monotonous train of white and yellow and green. Her feet made their own way, lightly stepping from rooftop to rooftop; she was nothing but a sudden glimmer in the light, disappearing and reappearing in the air like a flickering spirit.

It was all too much.

Lee's bright and smiling face, his kind and calloused hands reaching out to help her up, Neji's arrogant smile, his dark hair crowned by the stars of the night—when had Team Thirteen, Team _Gai_ been reduced to a bunch of strangers who greeted each other politely, stiltedly? And Tenten knew, at the bottom of her aching heart, that it was all her fault.

She should have been _better._ Stronger. Smarter. If Gai-sensei were alive, she knew that he would be disappointed in her. Her weapons scrolls locked away in a chest, carrying out administrative duties any old _civilian_ could do. Fighting battles with crotchety old daimyos instead of doing the village proud with steel and fire. Her clumsy hands, her ugly battle scars, her _inability_ to be anything but a burden in a fight.

Throat choking, eyes burning with tears that refused to fall, Tenten _ran._ Muscle memory and grief carried her feet on and when she stopped at a tree (when had the buildings turned into the well-worn tree branches…?) she realized with a start that she was at the cenotaph.

Tenten dropped from the tree without a sound and walked like a woman dazed, the cenotaph the only thing she could focus on. The yards stretched on until they seemed like infinity and still she kept walking. Her father, her teacher, her friends, etched onto the stone with fire and blood, smoke and tears.

With trembling fingertips, she picked out her father's name. _Sato Takeshi._ Then _Yamanaka Inoichi, Akamichi Chouza, Yamaguchi Megumi, Kamiya Sei_ …And lastly, _Maito Gai._ Two years she had stayed away, two years she had tried to banish any thought of the dead, two years now and she had returned, just as tired and war-torn and angry as she had been when the war had ended three years ago.

She thought she had buried it all, that everything had—had just gone away. For a while, back in Tea, life had even seemed… _normal_. Her nightmares slowly faded away, her hands stopped trembling; she no longer flinched at loud noises… But coming back to Konoha seemed to have just ripped all of her scars open and sprinkled salt on the bleeding wounds and—

"Skulking in the shadows was never your style." The cool metal of the kunai felt comfortable and _right_ in her gloved hand, like an extension of her own limb, never mind that she had held nothing more dangerous than a letter-opener the past two years.

"Brooding was never yours," came the cutting reply from the depths of the forest, delivered in a cold and colorless voice.

The spot between her shoulder blades itched and Tenten fought the urge to bury everything in a fifty-mile radius with a hail of steel and chakra. She was unarmed, had none of her weapons scrolls on her, was still exhausted from her trip back from Tea Country and hadn't fought anything more dangerous than a verbal battle since she had left Konoha. If Neji were half as good as she remembered, she would be slaughtered within seconds.

"People change," she said evenly, as if they were discussing nothing more than the weather.

"I noticed. You never used to run away before."

Tenten couldn't help it; she whirled around, kunai bristling from her calloused fingers, eyes flashing with a fury she didn't even realize she was feeling. Pale, blank eyes met her and she couldn't help the shiver that ran down her spine. _Is this what other people feel when they meet those eyes for the first time?_ , she idly wondered.

"You left without saying goodbye."

"What?" Tenten was baffled by the non sequitur and narrowed her eyes in suspicion, trying to search for anything that betrayed a hint of weakness, indecision, hesitation. She found nothing.

Neji shook his head, long black hair swinging gracefully with the movement. He slowly tucked his hands into the folds of his sleeves; Tenten flushed but refused to tuck her kunai back into her worn hip pouch.

"We shouldn't be spilling blood in front of the honored dead," he said deliberately, his face calm and unreadable.

"Spilling blood—spilling blood in front of the _honored_ dead, oh that's rich coming from—"

Only the sound of a dull metal _thunk_ alerted Tenten to the fact that the kunai had fallen through the grip of her senseless fingers and onto the grass. She instantly whitened and curled her fingers into tight fists, hoping that Neji hadn't caught the fact that her fingers had started shaking violently. _No, not now,_ she thought furiously, trying to make her fingers behave, to no avail. _I thought—I thought it was better, fuck, fuck—_

"You dropped your kunai," Neji observed slowly; Tenten thought she heard the slightest hint of concern color his dry voice, but dismissed the idea instantly. _This_ Neji wasn't the type to care about his ex-teammates or about anything that wasn't the _mission_. She wasn't the mission; she wasn't anything to him. She was just another hindrance in his duty.

"Yes, thanks for pointing out the obvious," Tenten said acidly, the anger cutting through the lump forming at the base of her throat. Her stomach coiled in and around itself tightly, as if the tremors had spread from her hands to her inner organs now. _You can't be weak in front of him_ , she told herself firmly, but thinking it and acting it were rather two different things in reality.

He extended a hand to her, sleeve pulled back to reveal a stack of scrolls tied neatly together, sealed with what seemed to be a bloody thumbprint that fairly reeked of chakra.

"The mission scrolls," Neji said simply. "A list of supplies and parameters required for the mission. You left before I could give you your copy."

Tenten looked at the scrolls with growing horror and is if in response, her fingers threatened to tremble even more violently. If she reached out and took the scrolls, Neji would see her hands shaking; worse still she might even drop them and have to scrabble around on the ground to pick them up. If she refused, it would only worsen her image in his eyes, which was difficult but possible. Tenten bit her bottom lip and chose her poison carefully.

"I—have an appointment. You can leave them at the mission desk and I'll go pick them up later." Her cheeks flaming at her rather pathetic excuse, Tenten gave Neji a stiff nod of her head and disappeared into the shadows, faint tendrils of chakra flickering in her wake.

Neji stood before the cenotaph in the sunlight for a while longer, cutting a lonely gray figure amidst the green and reds of a Konoha summer. The wind tugged at his hair, but still he stood motionless, as if he had been turned into stone centuries ago. Only when the sun was directly overhead, did Neji slowly stir from his position like a man waking from a deep sleep and disappeared into the ether.

* * *

"What do you think it'll be this time?" Ichirou asked no one in particular, his voice low and mournful as he imagined the possible tortures Lee-sensei would inflict upon the team today. It wasn't the first time Lee-sensei had arranged to meet his team on a Sunday nor was it the most memorable; the last time there was a Sunday training session, large crocodiles had been involved. Very large, very angry, very scary crocodiles.

Keiko shivered a little in fear, remembering the moment when a giant slug had nearly melted her head off with super acid, icky tentacle eyes wiggling angrily. "Zombies," she said, her knuckles whitening.

"Maybe ghosts," Ichirou added with growing horror.

"Evil ancestor spirits come to haunt the living!"

"A giant werewolf!"

"Evil spies from Water Country!"

"SPIDERS!"

"TRAINING!"

Keiko and Ichirou jumped a foot in the air, their sandals glowing blue from the chakra they flared in fright.

"You should pay more attention to your surroundings," Lee admonished sternly, but his dark eyes twinkled with amusement. "Hello, Ryuu-kun," he waved gently, spying the quiet boy skulking behind his two louder students. Ryuu nodded back a hello and turned his attention back to his feet.

"Hey, Lee-sensei, are we—what exactly—"

"Is it going to be spiders?" Ichirou interrupted Keiko worriedly, his amber eyes widening with fear. "Big, giant, nasty spiders?"

Lee looked bemusedly at his frightened students, running a casual hand through his hair. "What are you two talking about?"

"Last time it was giant slugs. The time before that it was crocodiles. The time before _that_ , a giant TOAD almost SAT ON ME," Keiko gabbled out loudly, arms waving frantically in the air, her hair sticking up and waving agitatedly in the air.

"Er…" Lee began, unsure how to break the news. His three students leaned forward (including Ryuu, who was also looking quite worried himself) intently, hands clasped together as if in prayer.

"I'm leaving tomorrow."

"Eh?" Ichirou nearly fell over in shock. "Nothing's going to eat us or sit on us or try to kill us today?"

"…No," Lee said, trying and failing to hide his smile.

"Thank God," Ryuu said distinctly, folding his long legs and settling down on the ground.

"Yes, thank God," Keiko fervently agreed, her hair now lying flat and normal on her head.

"…But…Lee-sensei," Ichirou frowned, remembering what Lee had said earlier. "What do you mean you're leaving?"

Lee reached over to ruffle Ichirou's hair affectionately, his perfect white teeth gleaming as he grinned proudly. "I'm going on an extended mission tomorrow," he explained. "I'll be away for around a month or so, so this'll be our last training session today for a long while. We'd best make good use of it and your Youthful Energy—"

"A month?" Keiko repeated. "A whole _month_?"

"Yes," Lee said patiently, knowing that Keiko's hard head required some time and much repeating to digest any new information. "At least."

"But—but—what're you doing? What're _we_ going to do?" she asked slowly, brow furrowed together.

"Classified information, Keiko-chan. As for _you_ three…well, a very good friend of mine volunteered to take over your training personally." A sensation of doom suddenly struck all three students simultaneously, leaving them feeling vaguely nauseated and dizzy. Since this was Lee-sensei…the kind of people Lee-sensei would be friends with would be…A giant blue oni suddenly appeared in Ichirou's mind, replete with giant hairy warts and a club larger enough to clobber all three genin at the same time.

"Yamanaka Ino is an excellent tokubetsu jounin and she's very skilled in the Yamanaka Mind Techniques, along with being one of the best kunoichi in the village."

"Eh? You don't mean Ino-neesan from the flower shop?" Ichirou piped up, eyebrows rising in surprise; the image of pretty and put-together Ino-neesan hanging out with his bright green and orange sensei clashed horribly in his mind.

"One and the same," Lee said, ruffling Ichirou's hair again, fingers gentle.

"I didn't know she was a _ninja_ ," his student wondered, shoving his hands in his pockets and scuffing his feet on the ground.

"The best," Lee assured all of them. "She's more than capable of directing your Youthful Energy toward lots of training and Hard Work—"

Team Five groaned aloud in pain; if Ino-san was _half_ as bad as Lee-sensei when it came to training, then they would all be pushing daisies by the time sensei got back from the mission. Lee's idea of a mild training workout was running around the Village proper fifty times, then a hundred repetitions of basic kata, then a refreshing swim in the pond, then a hundred laps around the meadow _upside down,_ and finally, a ten minute taijutsu only spar.

"If you have the energy to joke around, then you certainly have the energy to run a couple of laps around the Village," Lee said cheerfully, gathering his students with his strong arms and pulling them up gently. "I'll buy donkatsu as a treat today. Last one to finish buys dango for everyone." Seconds later, Lee found himself completely alone, talking to tiny plumes of dust kicked up by his hasty students. Adjusting the straps of his flak jacket, Lee smiled softly and broke out into a mild jog after his students; the sun was warm against his shoulders, the wind was cool, his students were happy…Lee found that the tight anxious knot that had been building up in his chest since yesterday morning's meeting was slowly fading away, soothed by the presence of his wayward students.

A whole month without his students, the first time he would be away from his genin team for more than a few days. Lee was surprised to find that he felt a little melancholy at the thought of leaving the Village and his students behind; the days ahead without Keiko's brash voice, Ichirou's excited laughter and Ryuu's thoughtful face seemed lonely and too quiet. _Is this what you felt, Gai-sensei?_ , he mused, the trees and buildings blurring together into a continuos haze, the familiar burn of muscle comforting in its own way. _Pride and happiness and…love. Was it?_

* * *

"You're working too hard." Liu Jia's hard voice brooked no argument; her eyes were steady as she regarded her daughter's eyes (Takeshi's eyes) fiercely.

"I don't want to talk about this," Tenten snapped back, retreating into the corner of the room where she had been sleeping for the past few days; her pack and a fresh change of clothes were sitting on the stack of blankets and pillows she had arranged just a few hours ago.

"You _just_ came back from a two year mission! And before that—"

"We're not having this conversation." Her hands had stopped trembling enough for her to hide them from her mother and Tenten focused on the contents of her pack, trying not to listen to her mother's biting voice.

"Yes, we _are_ ," Jia said firmly, setting down the ladle on the kitchen counter top and walking across the living room. She rested her hands on her hips, glaring down formidably at her disobedient daughter.

"I'm a kunoichi. I have a _duty_ to this village," Tenten said, carefully separating her scrolls of clothing and food from her stack of camping gear and blankets.

"I'm your mother and I have a duty to _you_." Jia's eyes softened and she bent down, ignoring the protests of her aching knees. She placed a steady hand on Tenten's shoulder, feeling the sharp bones protrude into her palm like the spikes on a dragon's back. "Think about this logically. You went off and fought in the war for _four_ years and when you returned, you barely had a night's rest on the off-duty list before you were recruited by—" Jia hesitated, unsure how to refer to the Intelligence Corps without saying the name out loud. It was bad luck to refer to such a place and worse luck to be a part of it; Jia had tried to convince Tenten to refuse the job offer but her hard-headed daughter had stopped listening to sense by then. "—by that place," she said, settling for the vague words. "A few months after that and you rushed off into a country hundreds of miles away for _two_ years. Just when you returned for a well-earned rest, you leave yet _again_ , not even two days—"

"Māma," Tenten said, her eyes shadowed. "Stop it."

" _Bao-bao_ , listen to me," her mother said, squeezing Tenten's shoulder. "You can't possibly think this won't hurt you—"

"I know, Māma. I _know,_ okay. I'm tired and the journey was hard and I miss home and sometimes I wish I wasn't a ninja—I _know_ all of that."

"Then why do you insist on being so—"

"Chi-chi and G-Gai-sensei _died_ for Konoha. I can do no less," Tenten said simply, looking up at her mother for the first time in hours. Jia's heart squeezed painfully and her vision suddenly blurred with tears.

" _Bao-bao_ ," she whispered, her voice rough with grief. "Your father—your father and your sensei were very brave men, but this doesn't mean you have to work yourself to death like this."

And Tenten looked at her with her old eyes, eyes that looked strange on such a young face, her face covered by a mask of stone. "Doesn't it?" she said distantly, somehow looking both at and through her mother. "We were told to fight and die for Konoha during the war. How can I do any less now?" The smile she gave her mother was twisted and bitter, a mockery of the once-happy grin she had always flashed at her friends and family, grey eyes no longer bright with laughter. "How can I do any less," she repeated flatly, eyes looking down to stare unseeing at her clenched fists.

* * *

The loud _crack_ of flesh meeting plaster resounded loudly in the small examination room, clouds of dust and flakes flurrying around the room in wake of the angry punch.

"Does that make you feel better?" Sakura said calmly, adjusting her glasses with the tip of her pencil.

"No," Tenten snarled back, cradling her fist in the palm of her other hand. "Not really."

"Hmm. In any case, the diagnosis is the same: your medication has stopped working."

"Tell me something I don't know," Tenten said, shooting daggers at the crater in the wall she had just created seconds ago.

Sakura ignored her patient's irritable words, long years of experience making her immune to any sort of violence or barbed words and continued easily, "Have you suffered any attacks recently? Flashbacks, panic attacks, recurring memories, nightmares, anxiety, exhaustion, jittery feelings, difficulty sleeping—"

"No more than the usual," Tenten smiled grimly, sitting back down on the examination table.

"Anything that might have possibly triggered your—"

"No," Tenten said curtly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Tenten-san," Sakura said, scribbling something illegible on clipboard she was holding in her arms, managing to look both bored and unamused at the same time. "I can't help you if you don't tell the truth."

"Being back in the village," Tenten grunted grudgingly.

"I see." Sakura narrowed her eyes, green eyes flashing, and then scribbled something else on the board. Her short pink hair fluttered in the air as she tossed her head, looking pale and washed out in the bright fluorescent light. "I'm going to prescribe something in addition to what you're taking now to help control the tremors. It's a daily pill, unlike the patches you have on right now and you must take it every day for the next month. I recommend that you rest as well; request a mission leave and work on a reduced schedule."

"Can't. I'm leaving tomorrow on a new mission."

Sakura looked at Tenten severely, disapproval glittering in her sharp eyes. She tapped her pencil against the top of the clipboard, the slow _rat-tat-tat_ irritating Tenten's already strained nerves.

"Don't look at me like that," she defended. "The Hokage requested and you know how he is," Tenten squirmed. "How're you supposed to say no to him?"

"Yes," Sakura said softly, looking down and away from Tenten. "I know how he is. A little too well." Tenten had the vague and uncomfortable feeling of intruding into something where she didn't belong.

"In any case, you must not overly strain yourself during the mission," Sakura recovered, giving Tenten a sharp look. "And please do pretend like you're at least listening to my words."

"Missions," the brown-haired girl shrugged. "Murphy's law."

"Your injury," the Chief Medic said waspishly. "You potentially dying."

"Look, is there any way for me to—to get better? Completely?" Tenten looked down at her hands, wondering how these hands, which had served her so faithfully for so many years, had betrayed her so easily.

Sakura's face softened and she put her clipboard down on the desk, giving Tenten a long, almost sad look. "I'm sorry, Tenten-san, but…Perhaps with proper medication and rest you might be able to lower the intensity of the tremors. But I have neither cure nor healing jutsu to heal the scars of the mind. That, only you and a skilled therapist can do together, given enough time."

Tenten swallowed heavily. "And—so you mean—"

"We'll see," Sakura said gently. "You can easily control a brush and ink now. Perhaps your skill with weapons will be regained as well."

"Perhaps." Tenten curled and uncurled her hands, the worn and patched gloves creasing with every move. "What a dirty word."

* * *

"Please, take care of yourself, Neji-niisan, and come back safely."

"I'm not the one you should be worried about. Take care of your own health and I'll see to mine," Neji said stiffly, the equivalent of an angry shout in the demure Hyuuga household.

"Of course," Hinata smiled gently, her fingers white and pale against the dark wood of the sliding door. "Thank you for your concern. And please, give Lee-san and Tenten-san my best wishes." Neji gave her a sharp look and took a step back, eyes wary.

"Just because I am blind, does not mean I cannot hear things." The quiet girl inclined her head and tucked a few stray strands behind her ear, her voice filled with a quiet, almost undetectable reproof.

"My apologies," Neji murmured at her, bowing as he did so, remembering that she would feel the shift in chakra and hear the rustle of silk. She reached out to him and he caught her hand instinctively, a little surprised when he felt something soft and round hit his palm instead.

"A powder to mix in with your water. Take it twice daily with a meal when needed and it should help your pains."

"Hinata-sama," Neji breathed out, stunned, as always, by Hinata's immense generosity and kindness. He slipped the small ball of medicine into a sleeve pouch and the heavy weight felt comforting, like a supporting hand resting against his arm.

"Safe journey," Hinata said simply, a pale violet flower standing tall and proud in a dark garden. _May you find your sun_ , Neji thought absently, as he walked away from the enclosed Hyuuga compound, out into the world.

* * *

There were four water-stains on the ceiling above him, like little leaves curling and dancing in gentle arms of the wind. Here, in this tiny little inn, for the first time in two years, Team Gai slept under the same roof. Lee wished a little wistfully, that his teammates (what was once his first team, his family, his _everything_ ) were talking to him as well. Never had his genin years seemed so far away and elusive as they did now, in this cramped and dirty little hovel they had decided to stay in for the night. Perhaps he was asking for a little too much. He had never expected to be sent on a mission with Neji and Tenten again, let alone talk with them like he had used to.

The silent exit from the Village gates should have been warning enough. Neji had given him and Tenten a quick once-over and a nod before disappearing into the trees beyond the wall without another word. Just another cold Hyuuga, just another mission, just as if the years they had slept and fought and eaten together were nothing. Tenten had been equally quiet and cold as well, her familiar buns replaced by a utilitarian braid hanging limply from the back of her head.

Every time he had tried to start up a conversation, Neji, who had turned those pale eyes at him and through him, had stonewalled him with curt orders. Every time he made a friendly comment or gesture, Tenten had looked at him blankly before turning back to whatever else she was doing; once or twice, he swore he had caught something glimmering in the corners of her eyes before they disappeared—what exactly, he wasn't sure.

 _Gai-sensei_ , he sighed internally. _You would know what to do. You would know how to make everything better…Gai-sensei…_

* * *

The sunlight flickered eerily, shifting from yellow to grey to yellow again, like an old film reel that was growing old and spotty with age. Tenten languorously shifted her head from side to side, unable to move much more than that; the air was syrupy sweet and moving in it was like moving in a thick sludge of quicksand—nearly impossible. She felt so sleepy and tired: her eyes weighed down by a hundred weights, her limbs pinned to the ground by an immovable force, even her lungs labored to expand and deflate with air.

 _Tenten,_ a voice crooned at her softly, sounding both motherly and harsh at the same time, a discordant voice striking her ears mercilessly. _Tenten, Tenten,_. The words began to slur into each other until it became one, long, screeching moan, pounding away at her head like a thousand chisels, chipping away at her sanity as seconds passed. _Tenten_.

The voice stopped and she felt an indescribable relief so sweet that it felt like pleasure; it was gone and she could finally—

Everything burned.

Tenten screamed.


	4. Let Steed And Spear Make Him One Day The Parthian's Dread; Cold skies, Keen perils, Brace his life

* * *

4.

let steed and spear  
Make him one day the Parthian's dread;  
Cold skies, keen perils, brace his life

* * *

"Konoha has tried: we have tried to negotiate peace, we have tried to calm the bitter words, we have tried to bring the Hidden Villages together against the insidious forces of the Akatsuki. But though our efforts have failed, though the winds may blow against our strong walls, standing here, looking upon the brave eyes and faces of my people, I can feel no feel. I see the Will of Fire burning everywhere. I see the strength that will crush those who dare to defy us. I see courage that will see us through the dark days ahead of us. This is no mere war against Iwa or Kumo; this is not a question of fighting for the desert rocks of Suna or the waterfalls of Taki. This is a war to establish our rights as shinobi, to expel the cursed Akatsuki from our lands and guard our future against those who wish us dead and gone."

Tenten felt a gentle hand rest of her shoulder briefly before it disappeared. From the corner of her eye, she could see Gai-sensei's hand moving from shoulder to shoulder, giving support and comfort as Tsunade-sama's voice rang out in the square. Neji's back visibly straightened and Lee's head lifted proudly as they each felt Gai-sensei standing at their back, ready and tall. _Thank you, sensei_ , she thought warmly, and the long days of war ahead of them didn't seem so terrible and heavy, not with her team standing with her, together.

* * *

"You're one of the best teams I have on active duty right now. The only living chuunin team on record right now surviving an S-Rank mission without losing a team member."

Neji knew that there was only one reason that Team Gai was called up to the Hokage's Office for a private meeting and it wasn't to hear praise. He forced himself to relax his shoulders, knowing that the Hokage's sharp eyes rivaled those of the Hyuuga. Even Gai-sensei looked tense, worry lines creasing his tanned forehead, the line of his jaw tense and ready.

"Everything I tell you here does not leave this room. Understood?"

"Of course, Hokage-sama," Tenten murmured respectfully, knowing that the Hokage's sharp words were more than capable of sparking the hot tempers on her team. She inclined her head gracefully, gray eyes unreadable.

"Good. We've had word that Kumo and Iwa are planning a two-pronged attack against us, with Iwa marching through Grass and Rain while Kumo plans to invade Wave and force a blockade on our port cities. I've dispatched several teams to Wave and Suna already, which means—"

"We're fighting against Iwa," Lee breathed out, unable to stop himself and Neji stiffened; an enemy was an enemy, but to fight Iwa instead of Kumo—an image of his father's gentle eyes flashed in his mind's eyes, his voice soft but caring. _Turn your fist like that—good. My son, my son, my son…_ His eyes burned and Neji slowly pried his clenched fists open, ignoring the concerned looks that Lee and Tenten were giving him. Tsunade nodded curtly, her fingers laced together delicately on the desk, belying a strength that could level mountains.

"Gai, you've had extensive experience fighting Iwa in the past which is why you're leading this team. Your first posting is in Kitachou, which is on the border between Grass and Fire, under Commander Nara. The details of the op—" here, Tsunade gestured carelessly at the stack of scrolls on her desk, "—and supplies are in there. And remember, standard uniforms for everyone. No special Hyuuga outfits or green jumpsuits or Tea Country cheongsams. You're soldiers, not ninja. Not anymore."

"Understood, Hokage-sama," Tenten, Neji and Lee chorused obediently, the words feeling heavy and strange on their tongues. Gai nodded his head instead; he hadn't spoken at all during the meeting, his normally loud and ebullient voice instead quiet and shuttered.

"Dismissed."

* * *

"Hurry up," Neji hissed from the shadow of the tree, the bulge of the arteries and veins visible even in the darkness.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Tenten spat out in return, fingers moving quickly through a series of seals, chakra flowing through and out of her quicksilver fingers. She cursed harshly and slammed her hands down on the ground, a spider web of cracks and chakra-lines spreading from her glowing hands to the edge of an invisible circle, centered on her kneeling figure.

"They're a mile away. We have a couple more minutes." Tenten ignored Neji's tense warning and _pushed_ with her chakra, forcing the ground beneath her to dissolve. What had been solid earth only moments ago was now empty air—she slid down the side of the foxhole with an ease born of hours of practice, knowing that her teammate was close behind her, chakra already glowing around his fingers.

A silky whisper of chakra brushed against her arm lightly and Tenten sighed in relief—the genjutsu was up and over their heads now. The foxhole was cramped and tight, forcing elbows and ribs to knock against each other uncomfortably, legs twined together awkwardly. But the heavy weight of his armor against her back and the heat from his body was more comforting than Tenten was willing to admit aloud (though she really could do without Neji's heavy boots digging into the small of her back).

"A hundred feet away," he whispered, pale eyes reflecting what little light there was, like moons hovering in the night sky. "Eighty. Fifty—"

And then a giant sun burst at the very edge of Tenten's senses, an explosion of fire and chakra that wanted to lick at her cold fingers hungrily; she could almost see the shrapnel hurtling through the air, like the glittering fireworks at the New Years Festival, lighting up the night sky with blood and fire and shattered lives. Neji flinched violently and his eyes widened, glowing an eerie blue-white for one long moment, the dim depths of the foxhole ablaze with light from his eyes.

Tenten's hand moved of its own volition and before she knew it, a loud _crack!_ resounded in the air, the ugly sound of flesh striking flesh. The unearthly light instantly went out and Neji collapsed against her shoulder, his entire body wracked with shivers. Tenten froze and then slowly, delicately, placed a gentle arm around his lean shoulders.

"Shh, shhh," she crooned softly, trying to hold back her own tears. The sight of a weakened, beaten, _crying_ Neji—

She closed her eyes and willed her heart to stay strong, to make it stop _hurting_ so much, to stop caring so much.

"It's alright," she repeated, over and over and over again like a prayer to the gods. "It's alright."

* * *

"Sato Tenten, reporting for duty."

The Lieutenant Commander gave her a quick once-over, and then jerked a casual hand over to the tent erected right behind him. The green and brown canvas building shuddered a little in the wind but stayed firm, resolutely standing tall.

"Your team's already in there, Sato-san," he directed her. "Commander Nara will be along shortly."

Tenten brushed past him and through the open flaps of the tent, wrinkling her nose a little at the smell of old sweat and dirt and burnt rice paper. Lee and Gai-sensei were discussing something animatedly over the table of maps, gesticulating wildly and shouting about, "Youth! Springtime! Dynamic Tornado Entry! No Enemy Will Stand Undefeated!" Neji had tucked himself into the corner of the tent, looking rather harassed and annoyed; if Tenten hadn't known any better, she would have thought he had a very mild case of constipation.

"Shikaku-sama is coming over soon," she announced to the crowd and Lee brightened, pumping his fist in the air.

"Yosh! Gai-sensei, we'll finally be able to show these Iwa-nin our True Strength and Glory!"

Gai's eyes glittered with pride and he ruffled Lee's hair affectionately. "I know you'll do me proud, Lee."

"Gai-sensei!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"Team Gai." Nara Shikaku quirked a brow as he entered the tent, his old scars stretching across his face as he smiled thinly. Gai and Lee turned around and gave him identical smiles and thumbs-ups.

"Shikaku-sama," Neji greeted the Commander quietly, standing up from the stool in the corner, eyes eager.

"Hyuuga," Shikaku acknowledged and flicked his eyes toward Tenten, who had been standing patiently next to Neji, fiddling with the hilt of a dagger attached to her waist.

"You Takeshi's kid?"

Tenten nodded, eyes wide with surprise, fingers frozen on the dagger. "Sir? I don't—"

"He was a good man," Shikaku said quietly, striding over to the table. He pulled out a thin scroll from a vest pocket and unrolled it, laying it flat across the table, over the cascades of maps piled up everywhere. "He teach you chakra bombs?"

"I—yes. A little of it, before he—"

"Good." He pricked his thumb on a penknife and smeared it liberally over the seal, chakra-smoke wafting up into the air moments later. A sheaf of papers sat innocuously over the embossed seals and Shikaku waved at Gai to pick them up with a careless hand.

"We've mapped out the enemy encampments here—everything from their numbers, to the fires, to the location of their supply tents. In three days I'll be sending you lot out of Kitachou to plant mines and bombs where the damned bastards are holed up. Explosive tags, chakra bombs, timed sealing scrolls. Everything."

Tenten's eyes widened as she looked over the papers, stunned by the sheer _magnitude_ of the supplies needed. She had only ever made a couple of tags and chakra bombs for a mission or two—Shikaku-sama was asking for _thousands_.

"I can't possibly—"

"I've got a couple of people from the Sealing Corps—you'll be working together for the next three days; they've already stockpiled about a quarter of what we need now but they need all the help they can get. Hyuuga, you're going to be reassigned to the scouts in the meantime and Rock, you're on guard duty. In three days time, Gai, we're counting on you to make as much noise as possible while Sato, Rock and Hyuuga are planting the bombs. Questions?"

Lee caught Tenten's eyes, looking just as overwhelmed and stunned as she felt. This was—this was _war._ For the first time in years, Tenten felt like a little green Genin, bewildered and shocked by the sheer amount of lives they were forced to deal with. Ordered to kill. _Playtime is over_. _Everything else was just a game. This is it._

"No," Tenten said, slowly handing the papers back to Gai-sensei. "I understand, Shikaku-sama."

"Good." Shikaku seemed to pull a light from thin air and lit up the cigarette that dangled from his mouth, rising and falling with the flow of his words. "Report to the Corps tent. Hyuuga, the scouts have been nagging me all week about your eyes so go and shut them up, will you? Just like my damned wife the way the way they keep knocking on my tent. Gai, take Rock over to HQ and get him signed up for shifts."

"Commander." Team Gai saluted in unison and made their way out of the tent on unsteady legs, any excitement for battle long replaced with an inexplicable uncertainty. For the first time, as Lee walked down the dirt packed road towards the large tent set up in the center of the town, he wondered, _Will I survive this war?_ The wind touched his face lightly as if to comfort him before racing off to play with the sea of green and brown canvas tents spread out before him.

"Lee." He looked up at the solemn face of his teacher, his father, his friend, and knew that his face was but an open book to the older man.

"Gai-sensei, I—"

"It'll be alright," his sensei whispered, eyes shadowed. "It'll be alright, Lee."

* * *

The bone protruding up like a gleaming white sword from the crushed mess of flesh and torn arteries and wet blood—that couldn't be _his_ leg…could it? Lee couldn't help but stare blankly until a great roaring noise filled his ears and he couldn't hear anything, couldn't see anything but the bone and the blood, couldn't feel anything but a cold fire, oh god was that his leg, was it, no it couldn't, oh god, oh god, oh god—

"Lee! Lee, stay with me. Fuck, Lee please don't—LEE!" The voice begged him but he couldn't open his eyes, couldn't feel anything, his leg, his leg, was this his leg, it couldn't, that couldn't be, it wasn't supposed to look like that, it couldn't be, he was being burned alive, the fire, the cold fire, mama, mama, _mama_ —

"Where's the fucking morphine, fuck, fuck, _fuck—_ I can't find—"

Something cold and hard slammed into the side of his neck and for a brief moment Lee wondered if someone had finally decided to be merciful and kill him, let him leave the pain and the blood and the bone-and-blood-and-fire…

Lee's eyes rolled to the back of his head, lost into oblivion.

* * *

The embossed leaf stamped onto her forehead protector had never felt heavier. Sakura ran a bloody hand through her greasy hair, stumbling out of the makeshift operating room, the sudden darkness blinding her sensitive eyes.

"Haruno-san."

She blinked and found herself staring into pale white eyes, a tiny version of her face reflected in those opaque depths.

"Ah—Hyuuga Neji." Sakura tugged off her bloody white gloves and tossed them with unerring accuracy into the wastebasket standing in the corner of the room, trying to suppress the urge to crush his face; she had never liked anyone intruding into her private space and overbearing Hyuugas were no exception.

"How is he?"

Sakura shrugged and shoved her hands into her pockets, trying not to think about the smell of burnt flesh and dried blood coating her scrubs. "He's stabilized enough to be moved back to Konoha for the more complicated surgery. Can't say much for his leg yet. I've healed as much as I can in our limited time but—it's very likely it'll have to be amputated."

Neji was silent as he regarded the tired wan face before him, back hunched and shoulders slumped. Only a few months back she would have smiled, her eyes would have been brighter, her back straighter. The war had changed all of that. It had changed a lot of things.

"And Tenten?"

"I can't do anything for her here. She needs to go back to the Main Hospital and get her hands fixed; the sooner, the better, if what I saw was true."

"And that is?"

Sakura looked at him gently, hearing the anxiety and fear in his voice. She too, had a team once, a sensei and friends to worry about, a long time ago… "Just get them to Konoha as fast as you can," she said kindly. "Maito-san should be waking up soon. Get them home safe, Hyuuga-san. It's the best thing you can do."

"I will." She heard the steel in his voice and saw the strength in the tilt of his jaw and the emptiness in her chest rang with her sorrow. _Naruto, Sasuke_ …, she thought wistfully. _If only we had been a little stronger together…_

* * *

The soft whispers of the rain as it gently tapped against the window sounded a little like his mother singing, her quiet voice flowing like a stream of water. Neji closed his eyes, feeling something touch his shoulders lightly, caress his face, and lull him slowly to sleep. Here, he was safe. Here, there was no one who would threaten the lives of his team. Here, he could finally…

Chakra flared and Neji instantly scrambled out of chair, hands blazing with a blue fire. Without a word, his eyes flickered and veins bulged and the world became colorless. He tensed, ready to strike out at any moment—

"Tenten?" Color trickled slowly back into his vision and Tenten's soft grey eyes stared up at him uncomprehendingly, waves of dark hair falling down her back and framing her pale face.

"Lee," she breathed out. Her bandaged fingers tried to pull the sheets off of her, feet twisting and kicking desperately. "Lee, oh god Lee—"

"He's fine." He settled back down in his chair, trying to force his erratic heart to calm down. Everything was fine, there was nothing to worry about, and everyone was safe. He wondered why his pathetic little heart wouldn't listen to him, insisting on pounding away in his chest like he had just run all the way to the border and back.

Tenten relaxed into her bed, spots of color blooming on her cheeks as she realized that she was clad in a thin hospital gown that hid nothing and covered less. She gave the room a quick once-over, eyes taking in the sterile white walls, the chakra monitors hooked up to her arm and the dark skies outside.

"Konoha." It wasn't a question but he nodded in response anyway. "It's been a week," he said slowly. "Since Lee's..." She looked at him sharply and stopped tugging on the sheets with her clumsy fingers.

"Is he—"

Neji shrugged and crossed his legs, knowing that it would only aggravate Tenten. "Tsunade-sama is working on him."

She blew out a deep breath, bangs fluttering in the sudden wind. "His leg, is it, well, does he still have it?"

Neji shrugged again and stared at the wheels of the hospital bed, studying the smooth curve of the rubber, the bright metallic sheen of the support struts. "Tsunade-sama is working on him," he repeated.

"Neji—"

Tenten turned her head at the sound of the loud knock, shoulders instinctively flinching. Neji rose from his chair, unfolding his long legs and stalked over to the door, feeling the anger rise in his chest and unfurl like a blooming flower.

"What," he said curtly, yanking it open with a sharp _bang._ A pair of cold unreadable eyes met his own and Neji nearly jerked back in surprise; he had went without seeing pale Hyuuga eyes for nearly a year now and their sudden reentrance into his life disoriented him. _I've been away for too long_ , he realized with a start.

"Neji-sama," the small figure bowed, short dark hair marking her as girl untrained.

He nodded silently and waited while the messenger gracefully pulled out a slip of paper from the sleeve of her jacket; it stank of chakra and power. He watched her go and then closed the door, the paper twitching in his trembling hands.

"Neji, what is it?" With a thin blade of chakra, he sliced through the seal and the paper fluttered open, rice paper fluttering like the gentle wings of a butterfly. He read the message slowly and then again, his eyes widening a small fraction.

"Impossible," Neji said numbly, the paper fluttering from his limp hands to the ground, graceful even as it plunged downwards, the sleek line of its body cutting through the air.

"What is it?" Tenten urged again, fingers curling into tight fists as she waited for him to speak.

"Hinata-sama has been captured by Kumogakure."


	5. True Virtue Opens Heaven To Worth: She Makes The Way She Does Not Find: The Vulgar Crowd, The Humid Earth, Her Soaring Pinion Leaves Behind.

 

* * *

5.

True Virtue opens heaven to worth:  
She makes the way she does not find:  
The vulgar crowd, the humid earth,  
Her soaring pinion leaves behind.

* * *

Tenten could hardly recognize herself in the mirror in front of her. Tired bloodshot eyes stared back at her, framed by dark purple bruises, made all the more obvious by her pasty skin. With a trembling hand she tried to trace a pale scar that zigzagged down the side of her face, but her fingers shook too much to even follow the path the jagged cut made.

Though nearly half a year had passed since she last dreamed of the genjutsu-trap, the nightmare had lost none of its potency. Still, it had the power to reduce her to a quivering little girl, sobbing into her pillow like a simple _genin_. Still, it had the power to ruin her life, years after it had first caught her within its silky claws. It had taken her family, her team, and her sensei away but it seemed that even all that wasn't enough. Now it was bent on taking her sleep and sanity as well. _Or at least, what little I have left_ , Tenten thought wryly, black humor twisting her mouth into a jagged bitter smile, like the sharp edges of shattered glass.

A _pop!_ and the cap of the bottle flew through the air, the arc of the line graceful even as it plummeted towards the ground. Pills scattered all over the white marble counter, raindrops gently tapping against a window. Tenten stared down at them with unseeing eyes, fingers hovering in the air, shaking like leaves rattled by the playful wind.

Three years now. Three years since she had stopped eating in public: her hands trembled enough to make using spoons and chopsticks difficult and spills became inevitable. Three years since she had stopped making chakra bombs and sealing scrolls: a Master Sealer required steady hands and a strong will and she had lost all of that to the war. Three years since she had been removed from the active duty list: what use was a Weapons Mistress who couldn't throw a kunai to save her life?

"Ah—Tenten? Are you almost done? Neji said that we need to be down in ten minutes and I need to use the bathroom."

Tenten blanched and tried to swipe the spilled pills back into the bottle, but her hands refused to cooperate, instead scattering them off the counter and into the corners of the bathroom.

"Tenten?" Lee's voice sounded concerned, though muffled by the thick wooden door. "Is there something wrong?"

"N-no, everything's fine," she managed to croak back. On her hands and knees, Tenten scrabbled around on the tiled floor, trying to pick up the tiny disks and failing. Her clumsy fingers wouldn't _listen_ , if only they would just- stop- shaking—

"What's going on here."

Unsteadily rising to her feet at the sound of the flat words, Tenten nearly fell when she saw Lee's kind eyes boring down at her own, his thick arms crossed over his chest. The door was open behind him, letting the weak dawn light filter in and illuminate the small room. For one agonizing moment, she nearly cried out _Gai-sensei_ , but bit her tongue down at the last second. _Gai-sensei is dead_ , she told herself harshly. _You should know—you killed him yourself._

"I—" Her throat refused to work and the words instead remained inside her head, unformed and disembodied.

His quick eyes darted over her unkempt hair and creased nightclothes before flicking over the to the mess of pills scattered all over the floor and counter, gleaming like gems. Comprehension slowly dawned on his face as he blurted out, "Don't tell me you're taking drugs—"

"It's not what you think." Tenten winced a little, her harsh rasping voice grating against her own ears. "I—they're not—I'm not—" The words stumbled over each other, falling like heavy pebbles from her uncertain mouth, knocking and twisting in the air. "I need them."

"Need them for what?" Lee asked sharply, his eyes dark and hard. He hadn't moved an inch and she realized that he was blocking the only exit, planted like a giant oak. Immovable. Tenten fought the urge to push him aside and escape; there was no way she would be able to force him to move physically. Especially not when he looked so much like—

"They're prescription," Tenten said slowly, looking down at the ground, wishing she could slowly sink in and disappear. "They're mine."

"Mine?" Lee asked warily. Carefully, making sure to keep his worried eyes on hers, he bent down and picked up the empty opaque bottle lying on the floor. His brow furrowed together as he read the letters inscribed on the paper label wrapped around the top.

"I don't understand—"

Tenten held out her fists at him and uncurled each finger, one by one, until her palms were stretched out before him. They rattled and shook, as if an intangible wind pushed and tugged at the bones, forcing them to sway and shudder.

"You can't tell anyone," she said fiercely. "You _can't_. I need the pills to control the- the shaking and you _can't_ , you _can't_ tell."

"Oh, Tenten," Lee whispered, voice hollow as he understood. His eyes were large and sympathetic and Tenten found herself flinching away from the deep compassion she saw in them. "Why didn't you tell me- us- the team, before?"

"I don't need your pity," she spat, drawing her arms back and hugging her body tightly. "I don't need anyone's—"

Warm, muscled arms circled her shoulders and held her close, radiating warmth; instinctively, Tenten relaxed, leaning her cheek against Lee's firm shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Tenten," he whispered roughly and she could feel something warm and wet fall onto her greasy brown curls. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't know, I'm sorry that I can't help you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

And Tenten, for the first time in many years, let herself cry on a teammate's shoulder.

* * *

"Let's go," Neji motioned at his tardy team members, the bitter taste of the powder still coating his tongue. At least the pounding in his head had slowly dissipated, leaving an odd emptiness that his brittle thoughts rattled around in.

"Sorry, Neji." Lee ducked his head in apology but the arm around Tenten's shoulder was firm and supportive as they made their slow way down the steps of the inn and across the dirt courtyard where he was standing. Neji frowned, the corners of his mouth tugging down imperceptibly as he quietly observed the pair make their way over to him. He caught the way she leaned into Lee's arm, her grey eyes glittering with a secret mirth. They looked… _right._ Her arm around his waist, his chin leaning against the top of her head, their hands linked together, like two puzzle pieces that snapped together and made a whole picture. Neji swallowed hard and forced the lines of his forehead to smooth.

 _They mean nothing to me_ , he told himself firmly, ignoring the wistful stirrings of his own heart. _We were once together_ , it tried to remind him. _We were a part of a team with them. Don't you remember?_

 _No_ , Neji lied to himself and bent down to pick up a pack with an easy grace that belied that turmoil raging inside him.

"We need to be at Tanzaku Gai before nightfall," he said curtly and disappeared into the trees. He didn't bother to check if they followed.

* * *

Carefully picking at the ruined pieces of her composure, Tenten sat on the edge of the bed, breathing in slowly, deeply. Lee watched her from the door, leaning against the frame, his flak jacket rising and falling with each quiet breath.

"You know, the last time we had tea was over three years ago, right after the war ended."

Tenten tilted her head, fingers fiddling with the thread dangling from the hem of her shirt. "You threw a cup of green tea at Neji's head and the two of you almost destroyed the tea house fighting."

Lee grinned at her sheepishly and tugged at a loose bit of wrapping on his left fist. "We were both pretty angry," he said, shrugging. "Over little things and big things."

"Yes," Tenten said, remembering that the little and big things included Gai-sensei's funeral, the break-up of the infamous Team Gai, and the sudden end of the war.

"But do you remember what I said, right before?" he pressed, waving his hands animatedly.

Tenten shook her head blankly. "I—don't—" Lee pulled back, his face falling a little, but continued speaking anyway. "I said that—that even without Gai-sensei, Team Gai could go on." He paused and looked down at his clenched hands, as if he held a mirror reflecting a different time, a different place, a different team.

"And then Neji said that Team Gai had died with sensei. That there was nothing else we could do but move on our separate paths. Our…fate, our duty," she continued quietly, the harsh memory worn and softened by the passage of time.

"And that's when I threw the teacup at him," Lee filled in wryly. "Just when we'd thought Naruto-kun had beaten some sense into him he goes and relapses on us."

"Lee!" Tenten scolded and then stopped, a little surprised at the words that flew out of her mouth. It was like tugging on an old shirt that she hadn't known was missing, the familiar cloth brushing against her skin soothingly, a relief to wear after such a long absence.

"I missed this," Lee said after a long pause, his eyes sad. "The last year of the war when—when we were all split up after Gai-sensei died and after that, when you left for Tea and Neji for ANBU…I missed us training together and going on missions together and my Eternal Rivalry with Neji and…so many things we lost because of the war."

The lump at the bottom of Tenten's throat grew bigger and bigger until she could hardly breathe, the words she wanted to speak all coiled up into a giant ball, effectively gagging her.

"Neji's right," she choked out. "We can't fix what's broken."

"Nothing's broken," Lee said, straightening his back and uncrossing his folded arms. "And if it is, we can fix it. We can fix this team, we can—"

Tenten raised her hands in the air and gave him a brittle smile. "I'm effectively a civilian now. You're a jounin-sensei. Neji's in ANBU. You tell me, how are you supposed to make an effective team with a kunoichi who can't use her hands, a teacher with responsibilities, an ANBU assassin and—and—" _And a dead jounin-sensei we can't forget_ , Tenten thought, unable to find the strength to voice those words aloud.

"We can make it happen," Lee said stubbornly, the dark line of his brow determined. "We can do it. We can _make_ it happen. Hard Work beats Genius. Gai-sensei said so."

She closed her mouth and tried to crush the slow feeling of hope rising in her chest, fluttering a little like a bird flying for the first time. Tenten met her teammate's eyes warily and realized with a sudden start, why it was so painful to look at Lee's eyes directly. They looked exactly like Gai-sensei's eyes: tough, strong, but kind and loving as well, compassionate and generous. Tenten couldn't the find the heart in her to refuse those eyes _._

"Okay," she found herself agreeing weakly, going against every doubt and fear she still harbored in her heart. She had trusted Lee with her life, trusted him to guard her back and her home; he had never let her down before. Perhaps trusting him just one more time… "We can try."

* * *

 _Five ryou and fifty words_. The black wings of the hawk were clean and sharp against the pale blue morning sky, thin black brushstrokes on crisp paper. They looked like seals almost; the markings for _fire_ and _earth_ making the Phoenix Seal to burn and protect…Tenten watched the message fly away on steady wings until it the tiny black speck in the sky disappeared, fading away into the air as if it had never existed at all.

She turned away from the courier stall and wended her way down the dirt road, idly glancing at the explosion of color lining the crowded streets. Hundreds of people milled around the market, the clack-clack of geta against dirt mixing with voices hawking wares ( _Freshest cheapest fish in all of Fire Country! Can't get any better than this! A brooch for a sweetheart, a lover, a friend! Ten ryou for a gilded set, practically a steal!_ ) and the shrieks of little children as they sped from stall to stall.

A hand brushed by her sleeve and Tenten instinctively reached for the dagger hidden in the folds of her flak jacket, but relaxed (as much as was possible, at least) at the sight of a pair of unreadable pale eyes.

"Yes?" she asked stiffly, forcing her hand to fall back to her side. Tenten continued walking, eyes reflexively scanning her surroundings at routine intervals. He walked closely at her side and with casual, discreet fingers against his leg, signed: _Found something. Regroup._ "Your letter?" Neji asked laconically, staring straight ahead at the ruined remnants of the castle looming above the city.

"Sent," she responded shortly. Lee had asked her to try and God be willing she _was_. It was just so—difficult. It didn't help that half the time she wanted to wring his skinny neck with her bare hands and the other half of them time she wanted to grind his face into the dust and ask him how his _duty_ his village and clan was going, like he was the only _one_ who was in service, the snot-nosed arrogant son of a _bitch_ —

"Good." As they walked on in awkward silence, hands not quite touching each other, looking straight ahead, Tenten became acutely aware that the last time she had any extensive conversation with Neji had been in front of the cenotaph, ready to draw blood. If angry threats and barbed words counted as extensive conversation.

It was a relief when they finally stopped in front of the inn they had checked in last night, looking brighter and more cheerful in the daylight, window glittering in the sun. The wind chimes laughed in the cool breeze as the pair made their way up the steps and across the wide porch where Lee was perched on a chair. His eyes were bright and energetic, matching the vigorous wave that he gave both Neji and Tenten.

"My Eternal Rival! My Beautiful and Dangerously Competent Tenten! Isn't a glorious morning?"

"Quit that Rival nonsense," Neji snapped, folding his long limbs into the shadow formed by the column of wood stretching up from the porch to the roof. Tenten instead, sat herself on a lawn chair, as far away as possible as it was from her teammates. "What was it that you needed to tell all three of us that was so important it couldn't wait?" He raised a pointed brow and glared balefully.

Lee continued on, undeterred; if there was one thing he had gained from being genin teammates with Hyuuga Neji, it was the ability to completely ignore anything a Hyuuga said or looked at him. "I was walking down the Youthfully Energetic Streets of the Beautiful Tanzaku Gai in the height of its Summer Glory—"

Tenten sighed and fought the urge to rub her temples. "Let's get on with it, we really don't have all day." He immediately sobered: an annoyed Hyuuga was one thing, but an annoyed Tenten was a different sort of beast, and one he didn't want to rouse. "On Shiori Avenue, in the Healer's Alley, they were selling this." Eyes solemn, he pulled out a small bar from one of the many pockets hidden on his flak jacket. The wax paper slowly fell away to reveal a small amber brick, sitting innocently on his large palm.

"Is that—" Tenten sucked in a sharp breath, fingers hovering over it uncertainly, as if unsure whether to pick it up or flinch back violently. It was strange to think that something so small and innocuous had the power to ruin thousands of lives. _A weapon_ , she realized. _It's just another weapon. Just smaller and duller than most._

Lee nodded affirmatively and offered it to Neji, who took it wordlessly, slender fingers stark against the dark brick. "They were definitely selling it illegally. The store itself seemed like a front for something, well…they weren't very willing to let people like me past the front counter." _People like me; people like shinobi_ , Tenten heard, the unspoken words loud in her ears. She cocked her head, bird-like, watching Neji study the block of raw opium in his hands from the corner of her eyes.

"That's definitely the morphine base. Cooked opium," she commented softly. "Raw opium is too hard to smuggle across the border, but converting it into these bricks is easy. Cheap." She turned her attention back to Lee, eyes sharp. "Were they selling anything else? Any other variation? Did they mention—no, no, of course they wouldn't," she muttered, frowning. "Suppliers," she clarified at Lee's puzzled look.

"Well, they _were_ selling something in the backroom. I didn't have time to search but…the man did mention something called black tar from Tea." Tenten hissed at Lee's casual remark, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Heroin." Her eyes thoughtful, Tenten nibbled on her thumbnail. "I had no idea that they had gotten so advanced, so quickly. Doing this requires money, organization, arms, bribed officials, mercenaries—" She bit down hard on her thumb, the problem unfolding in her head like a flower unfurling its blossoms.

"Does the name Lin Wei of House Lin-Zhao sound familiar to you?" Neji's quiet voice scattered her thoughts and she turned to him, surprised.

"Yes…," she said slowly. "He's one of the more powerful merchants in Tianjin, controls most of the silk trade there. How did you—"

"His sons have been seen around town these past six months. It seems that Tanzaku Gai's weather is very lovely in comparison to Tianjin. Oh, and the yakuza might be more willing to make deals." Her wide eyes met his steady ones and Tenten could barely stifle her excited squeak.

"I _knew_ it," Tenten crowed, her fist pump punching through the air. "Ken-san and I worked for months and months to find anything but the man doesn't even leave a paper trail, not even to wipe his ass with. To think his sons were up here! Ugh, I knew I should have ordered that investigation on his family, risk or no risk. I need to send a message to him right away, have him start attending those business dinners and snooping around—" She stopped abruptly at the bemused look Neji was giving her, cheeks burning a bright red.

"Ken-san?" Lee asked, trying to sound extremely unconcerned and failing.

"Ohno Kentaro," Tenten blushed. "Fire Country's official Ambassador to Tea Country. We've been working together for the past two years."

"I'll go send a hawk to Naruto-sama. He'd asked for routine reports," Neji said curtly and disappeared, leaving only a slight trace of chakra-smoke and ash behind to even show that he had been there moments ago. Tenten blinked and watched the smoke fade away into the dust, the acrid smell filtering through her nose. _Arrogant bastard_ , she thought, but with no real heat. It was easier to hate him from afar, nurse her anger and her hatred in a country hundreds of miles away. Here, up close, right next to him…Tenten didn't know what to feel.

"So, when the war ended…" Lee, for all his taijutsu prowess and big heart, couldn't do subtle to save his life.

Tenten tried not to sigh and flexed her hands. "I was off duty, in and out of—of the hospital. And then, well, you know how it is. Duty calls." And in this case, duty had come in the form of an Intelligence posting, hundreds of miles from her home and her family.

"But—"

"I don't want to talk about this. I said we could _try_ , not that it would work. _Try_ does not mean boom, instant Team Gai!"

Lee flinched at her raised voice but didn't back down. "But Tenten, don't you _miss_ —miss it? Us?"

She gave him a bitter smile and stood up, shaking the imaginary dust off her pants. "Why did you think I took the job, Lee? Because I hated you? Hated you and Neji and Konoha?" She shook her head and moved away from the porch, towards the crowded street, her back toward him. "I did it because it was the only thing I _could_ do. I was useful…I can't be as a training partner, as a member of Team Gai, as Sato Tenten, kunoichi of Konoha anymore. But I can be useful as Sato Tenten, Assistant Ambassador to Tea Country."

The floorboards of the porch creaked in protest and Lee stood up and made his way over to the railing of the porch, casually leaning his arms against it. "I think that's probably the stupidest thing you've ever said," he said conversationally.

"Pardon," Tenten said stiffly, fingers curling into tight fists.

He tilted his head and fixed his soft dark eyes on her, cutting through the cold anger she wore like a heavy mask over face, through the pain and sorrow and anger she had wrapped her heart in. "You're my _friend_ ," Lee told her earnestly, sincerely. "Team Gai—we were _more_ than just some ordinary genin team that stayed together as chuunins. We were more than a ninjustu failure, a Hyuuga genius and a weapons expert. We were more than teammates. We were friends."

"I—" She stared up at him, fists slowly unclenching, that same hope fluttering in her chest, beating lightly with delicate wings. _Don't get too close,_ her heart cautioned her, _or you'll get burned again._

"Friends," she said numbly, turning the word over and over again in her mind. _"A shinobi must look to his duty, his clan, his village. Anything else would be a hindrance. You were a teammate. Now—now, we must part ways. It is our fate, our duty. I have chosen mine. Will you? Or will you continue to act like a simple genin, untested by the trials of war? Stop acting like a child, Tenten."_

"We _were_ friends," she corrected him in a trembling voice. "Now, I'm not so sure."

* * *

The homespun cotton fabric tugged and itched against his skin; Neji fought the urge to wrinkle his nose as the pungent smell of cow manure wafted up from the Tea Country peasant shirt, high collar sticking uncomfortably close to his neck. The clothes made it easier to slip into Zhang Bo's mind, a simple Tea Country peasant who was making his way back home across the border. Hyuuga Neji, he carefully set aside in wrapped silks and whispers of chakra. He would have need enough for a shinobi later on.

With quick fingers his long hair was quickly arranged into a queue; the heavy weight at the back of his neck was strange and threw him off balance a little. Neji—no, Zhang Bo shook his head lightly and continued to adjust the weight of his heavy cotton pants. His worn black slippers went on last, heavy boots sealed away in a scroll tucked in his pack. Straightening in front of the mirror, Bo looked at himself critically, checking for anything that would mark him as different. His eyes would have to be hidden, as well as the _manji_ seal, but his ANBU tattoo could easily be kept concealed under his long sleeves. He couldn't count on a forehead protector or bandages to keep the seal hidden.

A genjutsu and several muttered curses later, Zhang Bo's tanned and weathered face smiled at him from the mirror. Only in the way he titled his head, the lines in the corners of his eyes, the way he stood showed that he was not quite what he seemed. Satisfied, Zhang Bo turned away from the mirror, only to be confronted with Rock Lee's thoughtful face.

"Lee," Bo hissed, sounding decidedly unlike a Tea Country peasant and more a ruffled Hyuuga aristocrat.

"Cheung An," Lee corrected, his voice sounding strange, like he was hiding something. "You look…like a normal civilian."

"I'm glad that you approve," Bo said drily, unnecessarily tugging on his sleeves to straighten out the creases.

"No—I mean…you look like a normal person. Not a Hyuuga."

"That was the whole point, _Cheung An_ ," Bo pointed out sharply, before irritably stepping around Lee and towards the door of the small room they shared.

"Neji," Lee said, slowly and deliberately. "What did you say to Tenten? The last thing."

Bo stopped in his tracks, his limbs refusing to move. "What do you mean."

"I mean, what did you say to Tenten three years ago after the war? Something that hurt her. A lot."

Zhang Bo fell away and it was Neji who looked down on the floor, fingers clenching into tight fists. "Nothing but the truth," he said in a low voice.

"Something that might be true for a Hyuuga," Lee asked gently, "but not for Zhang Bo?"

Neji was silent for a long moment before he forced out a harsh, "Perhaps."

"Do you regret it? Telling her the truth?" Neji turned around and pinned Lee with a sharp look, brown eyes no less piercing than pale Hyuuga ones.

"Why must you keep asking? What's done is done, Lee. There is no place for regret in our world."

"I made a promise," Lee said, no less firm. "Gai-sensei taught me that at least. A man should always keep his word. I promised that I would fix this." Neji's eyes flickered with a strange light before settling back into a cool impassivity. His rough cotton clothes rustled as he turned around opened the door leading to the hallway. If Lee hadn't been listening with sharp ears, he would have missed the soft _yes_ before the door slammed closed, leaving him alone in the room.


	6. True Virtue Never Knows Defeat: HER Robes She keeps Unsullied Still

* * *

6.

True Virtue never knows defeat:  
HER robes she keeps unsullied still,

* * *

Staring at Tsunade's cold brown eyes and unreadable face, Tenten knew that there was only thing left that she could do. Going down on careful knees, she felt the old aches and pains in her joints flare up in protest. She ignored all of it calmly and let her forehead touch the smooth wooden floor, the palms of her hands lying in supplication before her.

"Godaime Hokage-sama. This lowly one asks this not for myself but on behalf of my teammate. This one understands that the recovery of Hyuuga Hinata is imperative for the survival of my team and for the Village, but Hyuuga Neji must not be sent on this mission. Please, excuse my impertinence for begging this of you, Hokage-sama."

The seconds stretched on until it seemed like an eternity had passed before she heard Tsunade's voice, smooth and husky, echo in her office. "It has been a long time since I've seen the kòutóu."

"We did not forget," Tenten said simply from her position on the floor, knowing that Tsuande would understand who she was and where she was from.

Another silence stretched on and Tenten heard the soft distinctive sound of a fingernail tapping on wood. "It is a strange bit of chance, but I can assure you of one thing: Hyuuga Hinata will be dealt with." She held her breath, hoping beyond all hope that the following sentence would be what she had begged for. "And not by a clan member. That much, I can guarantee."

Tenten barely stifled a gasp and remained in her position, nearly boneless with relief. She had hardly let herself hope that she might even have the slightest chance of succeeding and now she could hardly think of anything else. _He's safe now_.

"You may rise with honor, kunoichi of Konohagakure." She pulled herself up on shaky legs, ignoring the prickling of blood and fire as feeling returned to her numb and deadened legs. Tenten met Tsunade's eyes steadily with her own, never more aware than now of the forehead protector tied securely on her head. Abruptly, the Godaime smiled, her full red lips widening and said cryptically, "He's lucky he has you looking out for him."

Pink tinged her tanned cheeks but Tenten stood firm. "He's my teammate," she said firmly, steel in her voice. "It's the least I could do."

* * *

Head inclined at a respectful forty-five degree angle, fists placed knuckle down on the floor at his side and sitting perfect _seiza_ on the tatami mats; every line of his body was in accordance with the code and every gesture signified his respect and deference. Neji wondered a little if this was how his father acted on the eve of his own death, nearly fifteen years before.

He waited patiently, knowing that Hiashi-sama would turn around and address him in his own time, when he was ready.

"Nephew."

Neji raised his head slowly, making sure not to make direct eye contact. "Hiashi-sama."

"The cherry blossoms look especially lovely this spring."

"I am grateful that I have had the chance to observe their beauty this spring," Neji said quietly, his face betraying nothing.

"Beauty in their fleeting life," Hiashi returned, just as calmly. "Under a full springtime moon, they fall like the rain. I have seen many cherry blossoms fall in my lifetime, nephew, but I feel that this spring their beauty has been unmatched."

Neji made an affirming noise but he sat calm and still, waiting for his Uncle to travel down the circuitous routes and speak of what he was truly thinking. There was a sigh and a rustle of soft silk before Hiashi spoke again.

"Neji," he sighed, as soft as the flight of a blossom. "I assume you have been made aware of the situation." His nephew stayed silent, knowing that it spoke volumes more than what mere words could.

"I never thought that I would see the same fate cross my life again," Hiashi said, suddenly sounding very old and weary and vulnerable. Neji fought the urge to shrink back and instead forced his breathing to deepen; an angry and bitter Head he could handle, but the Head he was seeing today only made the ache in his heart grow larger and larger. "Your father, my brother…and now his son, my nephew…and my daughter."

"Hiash-sama, I have made a choice."

Neji raised his head high and dared to meet his Uncle's eyes for the first time this evening, the line of his neck strong and graceful. "I am proud to honor the choice that my father has made. My life, for the clan heir, for Konoha's continued prosperity. It is, indeed, no choice at all. But I make it gladly."

The lines around the eyes, the twitch of the mouth, the curve of the neck; Neji could read body language as well as any other Hyuuga and saw the pride in his Uncle's eyes and the sorrow he hid under a calm façade and soft silks.

"I have already given up my daughter for dead," Hiashi said gently, tucking his hands in his sleeves. "She has passed on in service for the Village and I find no dishonor in that. She has fulfilled her duty."

Neji stiffened involuntarily, his fists tightening as he drew them into his lap. "Forgive me, but I'm afraid I don't understand, Hiashi-sama. My duty dictates that I recover the heir if possible and take her place and I will do so gladly."

"I don't doubt that," his Uncle said calmly and his pale eyes swept over Neji's tense form, revealing nothing. "The Hokage has assured me that…the matter is being dealt with and that there is no need for the clan to…"

"These are Hyuuga affairs," Neji said coldly, trying to hide the sudden shameful flower of relief that unfurled in his chest.

"As I told the Hokage and was reminded that the Hyuuga are still a part of the Village. You mean much to her, Neji."

His nephew blinked, startled and Hiashi watched in quiet amusement as Neji struggled to regain his icy composure. "I am honored," Neji said after a long silence, "that Hokage-sama should think so highly of this one. But for Hinata-sama—" He paused, uncertainty written on his eyes.

Hiashi closed his own and felt his traitorous weak heart ache. _No father_ , he thought distantly, _should ever bury both a brother and a daughter_. He dismissed the thought; only civilians ever entertained such a fantasy and he was Hyuuga Hiashi, Head of one of the most powerful shinobi clans in the Five Countries. _And a grieving father_.

"Her mortuary tablet has been prepared. We start the funeral rites in three days time."

* * *

With steady hands, Hinata picked through the genjutsu lacing her hair, her fingers careful as she gently pulled out the tiny bundle of wire and metal from the thick braid that tumbled down her back. For fifteen years she had prepared for this day and there was no hesitation in her movements, only determination and grace in every motion, her eyes bright and luminescent in the dark. _This time_ , Hinata swore, _I will sacrifice my own life for the Village and no other_. And so, knowing that her capture by Kumo meant their eventual success in the war, Hinata carefully unrolled the wire bundle, revealing a hair-thin wire holding together a packet of razor blades and a small white pill.

With a fingertip she traced the sharp edges of the blades and felt blood spill from her skin where the two met. The curse seal that she carried around in her hair, less definite and visible than the _manji_ seal that Neji-niisan bore on his forehead but just as lethal when applied properly. And finally, the pill, to ensure that she did not become enslaved to a breeding program to produce half-breed monsters to defend the Village she despised the most. The only thing Hinata felt, looking at her tools lying neatly before her on the dirt ground of her prison, was regret. She had left many things unfinished back home and none of the time to see things to their natural conclusion. _Naruto-kun_ … _Neji-niisan_ … She breathed in deeply, settled deep in her center and composed her final poem.

 _I wish to die_

 _in spring, beneath_

 _the cherry blossoms,_

 _while the springtime moon_

 _is full._

-Saigyo

* * *

"Don't touch that."

Kyo flinched as the medic smacked his hand away and pouted, his full lips pursed in mock distress. He pretended to nurse his hand and watched with an approving eye as the new medic moved from the chakra monitor to the prisoner's bed, her hands glowing a lethal green.

"But Sada-chan!"

"But nothing, Kyo-san. I won't have you messing with my monitors _just_ when I've calibrated them to the right frequency. I'll have you on sentry duty for a _month_ if you put a hand anywhere near them again." Sada swept a strand of long dark hair behind and ear and pursed her lips, green eyes narrowing as she surveyed the prisoner lying limp on the bed, face wrapped in clean bandages, wrists and ankles shackled to the rails of the infirmary bed.

"They just looked so cool!" Kyo said easily, carefully sidling around the machines and stopped right behind Sada-chan's exquisite bottom. "So will my kunai in your gut," Sada said dryly before laying a firm hand on the prisoner's forehead, furrowing her brow in concentration. Kyo quieted, knowing that any mistake would result in a dead prisoner and a loss of a valuable asset.

"A10's stable for now; blood pressure and heart rate have normalized and I've managed to keep the infection out of the eyes for now, but they're useless. Damn bitch did a number on herself before knocking down the damned suicide pill." Sada shrugged and lifted her hand away, making a few notes in the pad she kept in the front pocket of her work-apron.

"I'll let taichou know," Kyo shrugged, his dark hair falling around his large brown eyes as he did so. "She still viable?"

Sada gave him a hard look and tucked the pad away. "You don't have clearance for the report, Kyo-san. Stop fishing."

"Hey, hey! I mean, I'm the one who _caught_ it." Kyo backpedaled at the sound of Sada's ungracious snort and amended, "Well, _helped_. Minako-san said that I did good!"

"Yes, I'm sure you did." Sada's voice, Kyo mused sadly, could be drier than Wind Country sometimes. And nastier too. Still, she did have a very nice behind and eyes—a man could get lost in those if he weren't careful.

"Now, shoo. You've seen her, I've given you a brief status report, now get out of my infirmary. I've got important medic things to be doing." Kyo gave her a one-fingered salute and a leer before loping out to the hallway and if Sada gave him one very long sidelong look before he disappeared out of the room…it was entirely the fault of his legs. They had no right to be so long and nice looking.

With a sigh, Sada shut the heavy oaken door closed and recharged the seals coating the wood. A flick of her chakra and the markings glowed a furious blue and pulsed rapidly before fading away as suddenly as it had appeared. The encryption seals were up and the room was now utterly soundproof and inescapable. A perfect prison within a prison.

Suzuki Sada, chuunin and established medic-nin of Kumogakure, blinked once and fell away to reveal Haruno Sakura, tokubetsu jounin of Konohagakure, Assistant Director of Medical Field Operations and sometime spy. Her hair still shone a dark black in the fluorescent light, the forehead protector she wore on her sleeve still bore clouds and her skin was still browned and tanned from work in the sun; but Haruno Sakura moved with the grace of the wind, her steps light and careful, her fingers burning with a steady chakra.

A twist of her fingers and a small flutter of chakra later and her gloved hands glowed an iridescent green, the color of young grass and newly budding leaves. Sakura bent down over Hyuuga Hinata's manacled form and pressed a gentle hand on the woman's bandaged head, chakra seeping through the bandages like water. A few hundred heartbeats passed before Hinata stirred, sheets softly rustling as she shifted her head from side to side, and little tendrils of chakra fluttered in her coils as she tentatively reached out.

Sakura bent down on tense knees, her mouth placed directly next to the young woman's ear. " _Hinata-san._ "

Hyuuga Hinata suddenly stiffened and the chakra in her coils raged wildly before the manacles around her hands and ankles burned a brilliant white, seals dancing as they forced her chakra to still and quiet down.

"Listen to me," Sakura whispered, her lips barely moving. "I am a friend from Konoha. I swear to you by the honor of my fire and blood that this is not a lie." She paused and wet her lips. "The Trickster Fox and the Imperial Slug sent me." She waited, hoping that the young Hyuuga would listen to her words and see reason. Minutes slowly ticked by before Hinata shifted her fingers, tapping a slow, light rhythm on her sheets. _Message…received_ , she signaled and Sakura struggled to stifle her sigh of relief.

"I promise you that I will see you freed and delivered safely home, Hinata-san. I _promise_."

Sakura rose from her crouch and carelessly straightened the hem of her standard uniform, as if the past conversation had never occurred at all. All the same, she felt the heavy weight of the promise on her shoulders and she bowed her head a little, glad that Hinata would not see her so. After a long moment, she straightened her shoulders and tucked the promise away along with Haruno Sakura deep inside her and pulled Suzuki Sada on, the chuunin feeling oddly light and free in comparison to the heavy burden that the tokubetsu jounin of Konoha was.

Sada sauntered down the room and never looked back.

* * *

 _Like the dawn rising_ , Neji observed slowly, his thoughts muddled and scattered, as he sat on the unforgiving earth, his body immobile. In the compound, every single Hyuuga clan member sat in perfect seiza, everything instantly abandoned. A puddle of water glistened as the ground eagerly drank it up, the remains of a shattered cup floating in its midst; Hikaru-san had dropped it while falling to her knees (was it only _seconds_ ago?) when Hiashi-sama had flared his chakra, bright and burning.

They waited together, in silence, heartbeat as one.

Hiashi-sama folded the paper in his hands with trembling fingers and tucked it slowly in a sleeve. "Hyuuga," he said, his head raised proudly, Byakugan blazing. As one, the entire clan bent their heads in deference, chakra moving in unison.

"Our heir has been returned to us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kòutóu: Pinyin form of kowtow ("to knock one's head), which is a form of observing deference before the Chinese Imperial Han Emperor. Ties into the Tea Country background for Tenten.  
> cherry blossoms: Poetry was considered a very refined form of art, especially amongst the samurai (whom I have based the Hyuuga clan on). The fall of cherry blossoms (sakura) often signified the fleeting nature and inherent beauty of a samurai's life and were also used frequently in death poems and samurai-related poetry.  
> saigyo: I borrowed his death poem for Hinata. Great guy, poet and Buddhist monk.  
> seiza: Formal way of sitting codified, again, by the samurai.  
> Suzuki Sada: Because Sakura is a badass and she deserves to be treated better than she is in the manga.


	7. Nor Takes, Nor quits, HER Curule Seat To Please A People's Veering Will.

* * *

7.

Nor takes, nor quits, HER curule seat  
To please a people's veering will.

* * *

Sitting seiza in the dojo, clad in simple cotton and worn tabi socks, Neji tried to find peace. He reached deep inside himself, for the ice that would fill his blood and the serene pond in the center of himself, and found instead heat and roiling fire, a savage monster tearing at his soul and his mind.

Control wavered and threatened to break and Neji knew that once he let the monster free, everything was lost. _Everything is already lost_ , the thing raged. _Hinata-sama is no longer heir. Everything we have planned for is gone._

It was hard to think of them as lies when the words rang so true. The nights they had spent together, arguing, discussing, going over ancient treatises and scrolls on the history of the clan, meditating together on the future...gone. He raised a hand and brushed his bare forehead, feeling the soft ridges of the seal under his fingers, chakra whispering faintly in response to his touch. A bird trapped in a cage, shackled with broken hopes and dreams.

 _Like cupping water with our hands_ , he thought bitterly, the fire and heat in him growing stronger and stronger. _Impossible. We thought we could do it and choose our own fates, defy destiny. Now—now everything has trickled through our palms and there is nothing left but the mere memory of what could be._

Worse still was the knowledge that hung around his neck, heavy as a millstone, the shame that he would carry all of his life: if he had gone, Hinata would have been saved and the Branch with it. If only he had taken her place, if only he had spirited her away and let himself die for the sake of the clan, if only he had…if only…if only…

 _Let me free_ , the monster roared, clawing at his chest, raking at his heart until he could bear it no longer. Neji wept.

* * *

"Please wake up."

Sakura had learned many things since she had graduated from the Academy that spring day so very long ago. She had learned what a broken heart felt like, what it meant to lose nearly all that she loved, learned what defeat and pain and blood tasted like, learned to fight and hate and love; to give and take and kill and save.

 _A pink sponge_ , Tsunade-shishou had joked, elbow-deep in bleeding guts and swirling chakra. _You just soak up everything._ _There's no stopping you._

"Sada-chan…If you can hear me…"

There was no going back.

"I—I'm sorry—"

Sakura opened her eyes.

* * *

"Sasuke's been seen with Akatsuki and Kabuto."

 _Stupid bug_ , Sakura thought irritably, eyeing the moth beating against the glass window with a quiet contempt. _It's just a freaking window and hitting at it won't change anything. It's beating its own fucking head in. What kind of stupid and mindless creature does that kind of thing?_

"Sakura."

The soft sound of beating wings rang loudly in her ears and she shook her head a little, as if it would clear the noise away. Still, she could hear the whispery echoes and idly wondered if Tsunade had noticed the insect yet.

"I know this is—you and Naruto have…I'm sorry. But you have to understand, we're at war right now."

It was a small, drab, black and white striped creature, with wings that beat quicker than her own heart. _Thawp. Thwap. Thwap. Thwap._

"He's a threat to the village."

 _Thwap._

 _Thwap.  
_

 _Thwap._

"He needs to be taken down, Sakura."

 _Thwap._

Sakura slammed her hand down on the window and felt the brittle skin of the moth crumple against her hand, papery wings crushed against her fingers.

"Of course, Hokage-sama," Sakura said, greenish-white fluid slowly trickling from her palm and onto the floor. "When do I leave?"

* * *

"So, _Su-zu-ki Sa-da-chaaaaaan_ ," Anko said obnoxiously, idly tossing a packet of papers hand to hand.

"Anko-san," Sakura said, giving her a polite salute and a cool stare. "Are you…?"

"No wonder you were called the brainiest kunoichi," Anko leered, leaning back dangerously in her chair, idly chewing on a wooden skewer. "What else were ya gonna do with that big forehead of yours? Like any of the boys were gonna give you a second glance. Maybe if it was dark, eh?"

"I believe you have my papers." Sakura redirected her pointed stare to the floor and repressed an angry sigh. It was a test, nothing more. _A test_ , she repeated to herself.

"You believe, but do you _know?_ " Anko cackled and spat her skewer out, hitting the calendar on the wall with unerring accuracy.

"Anko-san." Sakura briefly entertained the fantasy of a chakra-enhanced punch to Anko's face before ruthlessly quashing it. Maybe after the briefing.

"So fucking impatient, you know that? Bet you're a stone cold frigid bitch in bed—well, with that attitude, who knows if you _are_ even getting any."

"My papers."

Anko narrowed her eyes and then abruptly tossed the packet over. "You know," she said slowly, shoving her hands into the pockets of her coat. "I don't know whether to believe that you _can_ control yourself or you're just like this all the time."

Sakura looked up from the falsified citizenship papers in her hands and smiled thinly. "I take the stick out of my ass when I'm not on a mission," she reassured the other woman.

"Well, that's a relief," Anko said drily.

"Everything seems to be in order." Sakura tucked the papers into a pouch and sealed it shut with a small flare of chakra. "Thank you for the excellent work, Anko-san."

"Tch. You'll need it, for the job you're doing. You'll be in deep, Haruno and you know the rules. Don't break cover. Don't get compromised. And above all, kill that son of a bitch."

Sakura nodded and tried to swallow, but the lump in her throat wouldn't let her. "Could you—I just, there's one last message but I don't have time to tell the Hokage and I don't trust anything written down right now. I know I might be asking for too much, but—"

Anko nodded, her dark eyes unreadable. "I can try."

"Tell Naruto—tell him I'm sorry, but I'm releasing him from his promise."

* * *

When Sada finally woke up and looked up at him with those green eyes of hers, Kyo almost forgot how to breathe.

"I…Where…"

He reflexively pressed a hand against her forehead and then blushed a bright pink when she blinked up at him owlishly, drawing back quickly. "Don't strain yourself," Kyo quickly cautioned, giving her a warning look when she struggled to sit up.

"You've just broken out of a healing coma or whatever it's called and you have three newly healed ribs and a fractured skull and _crap_ —don't touch that, that's your—"

"IV and chakra monitor lines, I know," Sada said quietly, but Kyo could hear the sharp edge of humor and relaxed.

"Who's the one who graduated from the Medical Corps with full honors?" she teased, fingers gently probing the needles and plastic tubing taped to her arm.

"Yeah, well," Kyo said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. "You could've hurt yourself."

"Thank you."

 _Don't blush, don't blush!_ Kyo blushed.

"I don't understand, why am I…" Sada blanched, eyes widening in half-remembered fear. "Konoha— They were in the infirmary, I couldn't—"

"It's alright," he said tightly, fighting down the furious rush of anger that raged inside him, chakra threatening to spill from his fingers like liquid lightning. "We managed to kill a few of them but…they got away."

"But A10—what about the subject, what about—" Sada stopped and sucked in a sharp breath. "No. _No_."

"I'm sorry, Sada." Kyo's hands were gentle as he lightly stroked her dark hair.

"Seiji _died_ to get her. And now…I couldn't even—"

Each quiet sob was like a fresh dagger in his side, spilling intangible blood onto the floor. _Those bastards,_ Kyo thought savagely, gripping the armrests of his chair until they creaked and groaned in protest. _They'll pay with every single one of their lives.  
_

"I'm sorry, Kyo-san, I—I shouldn't have—"

"Don't ever apologize," he said firmly. "None of it's your fault. You did your job and if the rest of us guards had done what was ours, you—you never would have been hurt like that."

Her large eyes looked so lost and frail, red-rimmed with unshed tears. "I can't believe I'm saying this again but…thank you. I really mean it."

"Hey, what're friends for?" he joked, leaning back into his chair and trying not to notice his quickening heartbeat.

"Friends," Sada echoed and then reached out, her pale hand light against his knee. "Can I—can I call you Kyo-kun?"

* * *

"The Council and the Head of the Clan are in harmonious accord, their minds and their wills as one in this decision. Hyuuga Hinata, daughter of Hyuuga Hotaru has abdicated, willingly giving over her position as Heir Apparent to Hyuuga Hanabi, daughter of Hyuuga Hiashi. The Council and Head are in approval and accept Hyuuga Hanabi as Heir to the Hyuuga Clan."

* * *

Holding her younger sister's hands in her own, Hinata could not help but wonder at how strong they were. _Not my Hanabi-chan anymore_ , she thought a little wistfully, feeling the rough calluses scraping against her palm.

"Do you, Hyuuga Hanabi, swear to serve the clan and protect it, through times of peace and war?"

"I swear."

Only a few years before, at her coming of age, had Hinata uttered those same words, engraving the oath onto her heart where no wind would wear the words away. Now, in a strange twist of fate, her own sister prostrated before her, no doubt carving the words onto her own heart.

"Do you, Hyuuga Hanabi, swear to serve the Village and protect the lives of the people before your own?"

"I swear."

"Do you, Hyuuga Hanabi, give your life to the Clan?"

"My life is not my own, but belongs to my people. My heart is not my own, but is of the Will of Fire."

"Then rise, Hyuuga Hanabi, Heir Apparent, and fulfill your duty with honor."

And Hanabi's hands drew away, gently untangling themselves from Hinata's tight grip. _Goodbye, Hanabi-chan_ , she silently wept, knowing that the bandages wrapped around her sightless eyes would hide the tears.

* * *

The petals were whisper soft against her light touch and Hinata brought them closer, enjoying the fresh scent.

"These are very lovely, Lee-san."

"Irises," he quickly put in and Hinata heard the slight hitch in his voice. "They're purple. Yamanaka-san recommended them, she said that they would brighten up any room."

"I'm very grateful. Truly, this means a lot to me."

"I—it's nothing. It's just a something small." There was another awkward pause in his sentence. Hinata tilted her head and extended her senses, trying to feel for the flicker and flow of chakra nearly three feet in front of her. It was no use; Lee barely registered on her mind's eye and it was only through his voice that she could detect anything. Uncertainty, fear, a little pain.

"How's your injury? Healing, I hope?" she asked gently and set the flowers aside, making a mental note to call Kasumi-chan later to bring a vase and set the irises on her desk. Perhaps she would even try drying and pressing the petals later on for Hanabi to use as a bookmark. She had always liked the color purple…

"Oh, yes! Hokage-sama said it was lucky Sakura-san was the one who saw me before I arrived in the village. I would have lost the leg if it weren't for her and Neji and Tenten."

"I'm glad to hear that. Has Gai-sensei recovered from his wounds? I haven't heard much from Tenten as well—oh, I apologize, Lee-san. I haven't been able to go out as often as I'd like and I haven't heard much about anyone," she amended apologetically, tucking her hair behind an ear.

"Oh, they're fine!" Lee's voice was enthusiastic as he painted a picture of his determined and valiant sensei enthusiastically going through physical therapy, recovering from a brief poisoning a few weeks before in Wave Country. "And Tenten's on a brief mission to an outpost a few miles away—courier missions." She could practically hear his bright smile. _Gai, Tenten_ , _Lee. The only missing piece is Neji-niisan,_ Hinata considered, the names echoing in her mind, the gears and pieces quickly fitting together.

"Neji-niisan will be back on active duty soon," she said quietly, absently smoothing the folds of the blanket around her. "We've been having…some difficulties with some minor Clan affairs, but now that it's all cleared up, he'll be free to join the team again. He's been very busy in the dojo these past few days." _Click._ The last piece was put into place and now all she could do was sit back and wait and see if it fell apart or not.

"That's great! I haven't heard much from him since he requested that leave a couple of months ago. We can finally train together again, now that I'm all better!"

"He'll be called back in a few days—the first of next month, I believe." _Lee-san, please…I hope you can help him._ "He hasn't left the dojo since the Clan meetings have finished."

"He must be really training hard, then! Yosh! I can't lose to my Eternal Rival like this, I have to double my normal training regimen in order to defeat him!"

"I'm sure he'd like the chance to train with both you and Tenten-san soon. As a matter of fact, I know he'll be in the dojo tomorrow afternoon, reviewing katas by himself. Perhaps the entire team could meet and train together tomorrow…?" Hinata breathed in deeply and silently apologized to Neji. _It's for your own good, nii-san._

Lee's voice was astonished. "But—I thought it was a Clan only dojo? Are you sure, Hinata-san?"

"I'm sure," she said firmly and smiled. "My father would certainly welcome Neji-niisan's friends—no, _my_ friends. As would Neji-niisan, I think." _I hope_ , Hinata thought guiltily, fingers twisting under the cover of her blanket, unseen.

"Yosh! You are as generous as you are youthful, Hinata-san! Tomorrow it is, then."

* * *

"You're good to go, Sato-kun."

"Thanks—stay safe!" Tenten gave the old chuunin guard an easy salute and made her way through the gates, clouds of dust swirling around her sandaled feet. It would be a relief to have a proper soak and a hot meal—the guard outpost, fifty miles from the wall, had been in the middle of reconstruction after an attack and running water hadn't exactly been a priority at the moment. Nor had been hot water, meals that weren't made of indigestible field rations, and proper laundry services. _Civilization!,_ Tenten's aggrieved soul had cried out hysterically only moments before at the sight of the imposing Village walls, covered in days of accumulated grime, sweat and dried blood.

 _Four courier missions, 2000 ryou a piece, which makes it 8000 ryou, minus 500 ryou for processing fees, but I still have some hazard pay I didn't have a chance to collect before, which makes it 10,650 ryou in total. Half of it goes in the bank and for bills…And I have to buy cat food for Jiang…I wonder if I have enough ration coupons for that…_ Tenten sighed and rubbed her temples. Living on her own and doing adult things was not as fun as her thirteen-year-old genin self had imagined. Like going to the bank and paying the rent and going on boring missions to pay for the clothes on her back.

 _At least it's better than the frontlines_ , Tenten reflected quietly and bit her lip, trying not to remember the sight of trench rats gorging themselves on fresh corpses, the sharp smell of gunpowder and chakra exploding in the air—

"TENTEN."

She blinked.

"Lee— oof—" A large green-spandex covered ball of energy smashed into her excitedly, almost throwing her off balance and onto the dusty dirt road.

"YOSH! I'M ALL BETTER THROUGH THE POWER OF YOUTH AND WE CAN GO TRAIN IN THE FORESTS AGAIN WITH GAI SENSEI."

"I—can—see that. Lee, GET OFF ME."

Tenten huffed, annoyed, and adjusted the pack on her back, checking to make sure he hadn't damaged the more delicate scrolls she was carrying. He hadn't, thankfully, although one of the scrolls looked a little too bent for comfort. She'd have to check that out later and possibly beat Lee's head in with something large, heavy and extremely blunt. "You do look better," she said grudgingly, falling into step with Lee as they fled the road for the roofs.

"It's all thanks to you and Neji and Sakura-san and Tsunade-sama," Lee expounded, his arms wind milling to show his immense gratitude. Tenten ran a practiced three paces to his left, knowing that a happy Lee was also a dangerous Lee. "If it weren't the combined efforts of this Youthful Village, I, the fierce Green Beast of Konoha, would no longer be running joyfully with my teammate on this Beautifully Sunny And Youthful Day."

"You're welcome," Tenten said drily. "Where's Neji, anyhow? I would've thought you two would be beating your heads in with sticks or something to prove your Eternal Manliness."

Lee's bright face darkened and he stopped running, sandals skidding on the shingled roof. "I haven't seen him since Hinata-san was brought back from Kumo."

Tenten wrinkled her brow and tried to ignore the way the bottom of her stomach suddenly disappeared. "What do you mean?"

"You haven't heard—" He cut himself off with a firm shake of his head.

"Haven't heard _what_ ," Tenten said sharply, her voice edged with desperation, knuckles whitening as her hands curled into tight fists.

"Hinata-san was brought back from Kumo alive but—but blinded. She officially stepped down from her position as Clan Heir and—Hyuuga Hanabi is now Heir Apparent."

Tenten met Lee's dark, sympathetic eyes and knew that it was all over. "Then—the Branch—"

He bowed his head and for a long while there was silence. They both knew what it meant. Hanabi was the favored daughter of the Minami faction, warhawks and stubborn clan elders bent on preserving clan tradition and protecting the Main family's position of power. With Hanabi in power and Hinata effectively useless, the Branch family would ultimately…

She swore. Everything she had bargained for was gone in a single stroke of misfortune. _No plan ever survives contact with the enemy_ , the Academy had instructed but Tenten had forgotten. She had miscalculated, hadn't taken the enemy seriously, hadn't taken into account Murphy's fucking law. _Everything that can go wrong, will go wrong_ , she thought bitterly. And it had.

"Is Neji—" Tenten bit her lip hard enough to turn it white. Lee's answering silence told her enough. She could feel something hot and coppery spill from her lips and into her mouth. Blood.

"There's only one thing left that we can do."

Tenten looked up when Lee's hand gently brushed her shoulder. "We'll just have to beat some sense into him," he promised. "Naruto-kun style."

* * *

 _You are water, flowing from the mountains, through the valleys, to the wide ocean. You do not stop, but keep flowing, the swift rush of melting snow and rapids. You are cool, calm, watchful. You are Hyuuga, waiting in the sun and striking when the time is right. You are the blade that cuts the air, swift as a swallow, all-seeing, all-knowing. You are—_

"Onii-sama."

Neji stopped mid-kata and let his arms fall back to his side, shifting from _Floating Lotus Flowers_ and into a normal stance.

"Yes?" he bit off curtly and turned his attention towards the shadow of a girl on the paper screen, chakra coiled tight.

"There are guests awaiting your presence, Onii-sama."

He frowned and padded silently towards the door, sliding it open with a light touch. He looked down at the kneeling girl, her bandaged head bowed down in deference.

"I was not expecting anyone."

"Should this one tell the honored guests that Onii-sama is not available?"

"Not before you tell me who they are."

"Onii-sama's teammates, Rock Lee and Sato Tenten."

Neji's frown deepened. "Send them in," he said stiffly and shut the door in her face. This was—unusual, to say the least. His teammates had never directly approached the Compound before. Was there news concerning the team? Perhaps the Village? Brow knitted, he settled himself on the tatami mats and bent his knees in proper seiza.

Or…Neji's heart stuttered and he closed his eyes. Or they had heard of the news. Without a warning the beast inside him stirred and he felt uncontrollably angry for a moment, the heat uncomfortably warm and hard in his chest. What right did they to pry into business that wasn't theirs? They would come with pity in their eyes and soft, poisonous words and judge the Clan with their outsider eyes. They would judge him and pity him and look upon the seal on his brow and mock both him and Hinata for daring to lift a hand against the chains of fate—

The shouji slid open again and Neji felt, more than heard, both of his teammates step quietly inside the dojo. The beast, deep inside him, growled.

"Why are you here?" He didn't bother dulling the keen edge of his words. They were meant to cut deep and draw blood.

Tenten's voice was cool. "Hinata-kun invited us here to train with you."

Neji sucked in a quiet breath. Hinata-sama had? But for what reason had she…the claws tightened and he dismissed the thought. Hinata-sama was ill, still recovering from her grievous injuries. She probably wasn't in her right mind.

" _I_ am not Hinata-sama," he said to the dojo walls, not bothering to turn around and face his teammates. "I have no wish to train with you both."

"Well that sucks, cause I do!" Lee said cheerfully, bounding easily from the entrance and into the wide, expansive room. "Wow, this place is pretty impressive and large! Yosh, we shall get even stronger by using such an important place, right Tenten?"

"Right," Tenten said agreeably. "I think I'll follow what Neji's doing here and get some meditation done. I haven't been able to focus properly the past few days and it's really been affecting my aim—"

"Get out."

"Can't," Lee and Tenten chorused in unison, both of them ignoring the sudden spike of killing intent in the room. "Even if we wanted to, we can't," Tenten added, adjusting her dark hakama pants. She set her thin black slippers off to the side and settled into a cross-legged position.

"Even if you are a jerk, you _are_ our teammate, no matter how annoying and hard headed you are," Lee said, shucking off his flak jacket and folding it reverently. He bent down into a crouch and started unfastening the weights on his legs, setting the heavy orange legwarmers on top of his jacket. "So when you start acting like this, we have to come and straighten you out." Lee fell into an easy stretch, leaning down and touching his toes.

"We're moving out in a few days, maybe a week or two, seeing if Gai-sensei gets better by then. They're gonna ship us out to Wave, have us do something against the blockade on the ports. Might even have to go back to Iwa and the trenches." Back perfectly straight and hands resting on her knees, Tenten's chest slowly rose and fell, her face calm and unreadable. "We're gonna be a team seeing heavy action, so we've got to get our act together. So. You want to do this the hard way or the easy way?"

"Can we do it the hard way?" Lee asked hopefully, mid-contortion. "I haven't fought against Neji in a long, long time and we need to keep our Eternal Rivalry on!"

Mouth dry, Neji couldn't hear anything but the loud thud of his beating heart, couldn't see anything but their warm faces, their bright compassionate eyes. There was no pity in them, only understanding. He had—he had missed them, locked up in this glass house, choked and stifled by the Clan, by the Clan rules, by the tradition that had gagged him and tied his hands together. He had been alone for the past two months, with nothing but his raging, angry thoughts for company, the beast that had poisoned every thought and action.

"I—" he began slowly, hands tightening into fists. "I—"

"It's okay," Tenten said softly, reaching out and taking his hand with her own. Lee's hand rested on his shoulder as he too, came closer, lending his strength. "We're your _friends_ , Neji."

With them he was neither Branch nor Main, neither genius nor warrior. He was just Neji.

He felt the mask on his face crumble and the beast in his chest growled one last time before it faded away. Neji slumped forward and broke seiza, feeling those warm and calloused hands catch him and pull him into a strong embrace.

* * *

"That's a _civilian_ village. Sir."

"Are you questioning my orders, Hyuuga?"

Neji bit his lip and fought down the urge to _Kaiten_ his ass across the country. He had to keep calm and controlled. Getting angry would only hurt him, not help. But it would make him feel much, much better.

"I'm questioning their veracity, Captain," he said coldly, keeping the chakra in his eyes at bay. "You're ordering bombs to be detonated in a civilian village, sir. A village that is only _allegedly_ harboring Kumo nin and a village that is filled with women and children."

"How long have you been serving in the war, Hyuuga?"

"I don't see how that matters. Sir."

"Don't make me repeat my question."

"Two. Two years."

"Two years you been fighting this damned war and you still don't know what war is like? You take your goddamned orders and you fulfill them. We're ninja, not some lily-livered samurai bushido-freaks. We kill when we're told to kill, we eat when we're told to eat and when the goddamned General Commander asks us to jump, we ask how high. You got that, white eye?"

"Sir," Neji said stiffly and made an awkward salute.

"Good. Now go give Sato her orders and tell her to move it fast. Night's almost on us and the higher ups want the place clean off the maps by tomorrow."

"Yes, Captain." Neji disappeared, leaving the tall, grimy captain alone in the shadow of the tent. Captain Moritaka spat onto the dusty ground and shook his head. Kid was a certified veteran and he still acted like a damned greenie. Still…Moritaka pulled out lighter from his back pocket and played with the catch, looking over the maps spread out on the table before him.

Goddamned if the kid wasn't right. Women and kids…Moritaka spat again but the ashy taste didn't leave his mouth. Goddamn it all.

* * *

The sky was blue.

Clouds floated by so serenely, so peacefully above her, like a parade of horses marching for the gods above and below. It was so pretty. Pretty.

The ringing in her head wouldn't stop but kept going and going and going and she couldn't hear anything else. Dimly, Tenten wondered what happened to all the other noise. She couldn't hear any more shouting, couldn't hear the crack and boom of chakra bombs, couldn't hear the crack and rumble of doton jutsu ravaging the land, couldn't hear the sound of trench rats scuttling everywhere, looking for food.

It was nice. Tenten closed her eyes and distantly remembered that the rats might find her here, lying on the ground, all alone. Kenichi had woken up one morning with one of them sitting on his face. They were everywhere and at night you could hear them crawling through the trenches, overturning the tin cans, squeaking and scuttling and going through their things. Sora-kun had even found a couple of them in his bed, fighting over a chunk of flesh that looked like it had been part of someone's face.

But no matter how she tried, Tenten couldn't make herself care. It felt good to just lie here and watch the beautiful clouds go by…she was so tired…maybe just a little nap…

Tenten squinted and raised a heavy hand to bat away the muddy face above her. "You're blocking my view," she wanted to say but her mouth refused to open. He had big pale eyes, like the clouds above her. Cloud eyes, she wondered. Cloud eyes. Cloud eyes are pretty.

Something touched her face gently and Tenten smiled. It was a nice, warm hand. Cloud eyes and warm hands and…

"Neji," Teten slurred, her thick tongue moving awkwardly around the heavy words. "You have…clou' eyes…pretty…"

The last thing she saw was the pretty cloud in the impossibly blue sky.

* * *

"Happy birthday, Neji!"

Neji twitched and all three of them laughed quietly; it was as much embarrassment as he was able to show.

"You'll wake the others," he said lamely but Tenten could see the softness in his eyes and smiled. "Like we haven't already," she teased and pulled out a scroll from behind her back.

"Happy Twentieth, Neji." She gently pressed the grimy and much-abused scroll into his open hands. "It's not much," she said apologetically, "but it's all I could get out here."

"Thank you," he said quietly, turning it over with careful hands.

"A toast to you!" Gai raised his tin cup, filled to the brim with sake stolen from an abandoned home a few miles away, to the skies. "My dear student Neji, you have finally reached your majority! In this magnificent coming of age ceremony, I, Maito Gai, present to you the first cup I have poured—"

"Ai, Gai-sensei, just get on with it!" Tenten laughed, carefully handing Lee a cup of extremely watered down sake. "It's almost time for my watch!"

"But Tenten, this is an extremely important moment! Neji, my Eternally Youthful rival, has finally become an adult! He is a Truly—"

Neji grabbed the cup from Gai's hand and downed it in go.

"Neji!" Gai and Lee gasped in unison.

"It's too dry," Neji frowned. "And I like my sake hot."

"And _I_ need to go on watch," Tenten sighed. She stood up, careful not to dislodge crate of sake, and brushed the dirt and grime off of her standard pants. "Have a good night, guys. Try not to kill each other," she added, eyes twinkling. Gai-sensei gave her a nod and a proud smile and Tenten made her way over to the outpost, the sound of quiet squabbling and whispered _kampai!_ drifting in the air behind her.

"Hyuuga-kun's birthday, huh?" the old guard greeted her from the ground where he was cleaning his ninjato.

"Mm," she answered, setting herself down beside him. "How's the night been so far?"

"Quiet. Not a sound or movement from 'em."

"That's good." Tenten pulled out a scroll from her pocket and unsealed her bo staff. It felt right in her hand, an extension of her arm. "If you get there quick, they might even have some sake left for you," she said, testing the weight and heft of the weapon.

"Will do, Sato-kun." The guard rose up on creaky knees and gave her a quick two-fingered salute. "Have a good watch and keep us safe."

"On my honor." The tree felt solid and comfortable at her back and she watched the guard amble off in direction of the little party, the tiny fire giving off just enough light to make out her teammate's faces. Lee was making wide gestures again, his eyebrows waggling like caterpillars (Tenten hoped he hadn't gotten into the sake again). Neji was trying to ignore him; he was busy nursing another cup of sake Gai-sensei must have poured him.

The firelight illuminated his pale face, the flush that was rising in his cheeks and flickered around his hair like a crown of stars. He was laughing, tin cup pressed against his curled lips, the corners of his eyes crinkling with mirth. He looked…happy.

 _Oh_ , Tenten realized suddenly, the breath driven from her chest. _I want him to be like this. I want him to be happy all the time, right next to me._ _I want to hold his hand and jump from the cliff and wake up in the morning next to him and—_

Tenten closed her eyes and forced herself to turn away from the scene, towards the enemy camp across the river and the No Man's Land. _I want—so much._ He was the son of Hyuuga, she the daughter of a poor Tea Country refugee without a penny or a noble name.

 _But I want—_

No. _I can't_ , Tenten knew. _I can't._ So she tucked away this small hope, and locked it away deep inside her, hoping that in time it would fade away. She sat there in the silence for a long time and watched the enemy with unseeing eyes.


	8. Blessings to Come

* * *

8.

Seal'd lips have blessings sure to come:  
Who drags Eleusis' rite to day,

* * *

Lee, Tenten decided, really didn't have the right sort of posture to look like a proper peasant fearing for his life. His back was too straight, his eyes were too wide and if the crouch he was in wasn't the beginning stance for _Lotus Blossom Swaying in Wind_ , she would eat her crusty unwashed socks.

 _You should scream_ , she signed at him with quick fingers and a small, tense smile. _And make it sound like you're a terrified human, not a dying cat._

Lee ignored her and shifted his body closer to her, his broad back positioned to cover her from any attack. _How long do we have before the bombs go?_ , he signaled back instead, large thick fingers surprisingly deft with the sharp hand signs.

Tenten worried her bottom lip with sharp teeth, counting down the seconds in her head. Planting the explosives had been easier than expected—last night, skulking around the border outpost in her old standard Konoha uniform, carefully tucking the ticking time bombs in the earth…it had felt uncomfortably familiar, as if the war had never ended and she was back behind enemy lines, sowing the earth with death and the blood of countless lost lives…Neji had better be quick—she had only planted enough for a half hour's distraction.

Heart in her throat, Tenten made a shaky fist and then sliced the air with the keen edge of her other hand. _Thirty seconds_.

_Twenty.  
_

_Fifteen._

_Ten_.

_Three—_

The entire world shook and trembled.

* * *

Lee had never forgotten the first time Tenten had showed the team her new chakra bombs. "My dad showed me how to make these," she had said and he and Neji had looked on, curious, as she pulled out an ordinary looking scroll and tossed it into cluster of trees behind the training ground. It had completely devastated the area and the team watched on in awed silence as the remnants of what once was a small forest rained down upon the land.

They had been like children, excited by the sheer amount of power behind the exploding tags and modified chakra bombs Tenten made, occasionally using them in missions just to see the world change and break before their eyes.

And then the war had come and nothing was ever the same again.

Entire villages were devoured in pillars of smoke and fire, engulfing hundreds of families alive. Women, children, mothers, fathers, grandmothers and grandfathers, all lost in that split second when the scroll exploded and lay waste to everything in its path. He had never forgotten the sight of a man, a man standing right in front of him, so close that he could see the white of his eyes, so close that he could see the man's chest rise and fall with every breath, a man who had been alive one moment and then a smear of blood and dismembered limbs the next.

He had never forgotten the sound of hundreds screaming in agony, the terrible moans of those who had lingered after the initial blast, clinging to life even after the fire and shrapnel had devoured their skin and limbs, leaving only bodies that vaguely resembled the people they had been moments before.

And he had never forgotten Tenten's pale face illuminated by the unnatural blue chakra fires, the hours she spent retching in the dark corners of the trenches, the sight of her sitting seiza and drawing seal after seal after seal, her hands steady but her eyes glittering with unshed tears.

Three years since the war had ended and he had come home to a normal life, three years of peace that he fought so hard for and now he was right back in the middle of a war zone, watching the peaceful countryside before him turn into a desolate land of earth and fire.

A sudden breath and the smell of burning fat and human flesh clung to his mouth, sticky and heavy. The hot air billowed around him, tugging angrily at his rough peasant clothes and Lee closed his eyes and clamped his mouth shut, refusing to acknowledge the bile that was rising in his throat. _It's not real, it's not real, it's not real_ , he chanted to himself. _No one's been killed; it's just mind-tricks. No one's been killed. I'm in Tea Country, not in Earth. The war's over. We're not killing_ —

Something slammed into his arm and Lee opened his eyes, Tenten's wide gray ones meeting his own. _Oh. Oh, god—_

He looked down at his dirty hands and saw the blood dripping through the gaps between his fingers, staining the torn and grimy bandages he had wrapped around his knuckles; he looked down and felt the heavy forehead protector wrapped tight around his head like a vise, heavy leg weights freezing him into place; he looked down and saw the broken body of a little girl, her dead glassy eyes looking up at him accusingly. She looked just like Keiko. _Why did you kill me_ , her eyes demanded. _Why did you do this to me, why—why—why—why—WHY—_

* * *

"I like to wash / By way of experiment / The dust of this world / In drops of dew. / I am still alive / At the end of a dream / On my journey, / Fall of an autumn day. / Midwinter—" Tenten broke off with a harsh rasp, the searing tang of burning chakra rubbing her throat raw. _No, no, what was the next line, what was it_ , she frantically racked her mind, trying not to think about the blazing pillar of fire before her, spiraling up towards the heavens with raging heat and flame. _What_ was _it—midwinter—midwinter—_

"Midwinter—midwinter peonies / And a distant plover sings. / Is that a cuckoo I hear / In the snow? / Blanket of white plum / Where are the cranes— / Stolen or hidden / Behind the plum—" Tenten hissed in pain as Lee's grip tightened on her left shoulder, breaking her concentration and the verse that filled her mind. "Lee, stop it—what are you—"

His eyes were glassy and unfocused, looking at and through her, as if he were staring at something a great distance away. His grip tightened and she watched on in horrified shock as he pushed down on her harder and harder, face pale and sweaty. " _Lee_ —"

Tenten breathed out shakily and slammed her fist into his arm. "Snap—out of—it." His head moved down jerkily, like a machine with gears that had long rusted; she shifted her feet and tried to kick at his legs, hoping to shift him off balance, but he was immovable stone. "Come on, _wake up_ —"

Blue dots washed over her vision and Tenten panted, the pain almost overwhelming her. Another few minutes and he would snap her shoulder in half and—

Tenten snapped out a harsh, " _Fuck!"_ as her shoulder bones creaked and groaned. More like _seconds_ instead of minutes. She pulled as much chakra into her hand as she could stand, feeling the familiar white-hot burn as her scarred chakra channels stretched and protested with the sudden flood of heat.

 _I'm sorry,_ she silently apologized and then slammed her hand into his chest.

* * *

Awareness came back to him in one giant rush, spiraling outward from the center of his body. _Hot_ , he thought distantly and then looked down to see a large patch of his shirt burned clean through. The skin underneath was a raw pinkish white, mottled in the vague shape of a handprint. _Oh_ , Lee observed distantly, as if he were drifting above and not inside his own body.

"Can…you…let up now? Would appreciate…that…a lot."

Lee looked down at his outstretched arm and followed it to Tenten's shoulder, where his hand was. He could feel the sharp bone digging into his palm and he knew, in the way that he knew that it would rain tomorrow and how he knew how to kick with the exact amount of force to kill a man instantly, that if he gripped any longer he would break it.

Something brushed his arm weakly and Lee looked at the small, calloused hand that clung to his outstretched limb. It was Tenten's. It was _Tenten._ He was hurting _Tenten_.

He saw himself reflected in her pain-glazed eyes; he saw his own wide eyes and too-pale face in those gray depths, saw the agony and the understanding and his own edged grief and it _hurt_ , it hurt so much, like a hot knife stabbing right into his heart over and over again. He closed his eyes. _I could have killed her_ , he knew and the bile in his throat twisted, turning into self-loathing and disgust.

Lee pried his frozen arm away and stared at his clawed hand, still twisted into a mockery of a gentle grip.

He could have killed her.

* * *

The air was hot and humid, so different from Fire's spicy dry heat that burned the nose and scoured the lungs. Every time Neji moved, it felt like he was swimming in a muggy oven, ghost-whispers of water stubbornly clinging to his skin.

"All right, outhouse is there." The guard pointed to a lonely looking building behind the border outpost, its whitewashed walls gleaming in the morning sun. "Get yer bus'ness done fast, we gotta process yer papers and check yer luggage and yer cart. Ye didn' bring anyfink nasty in from Fire, eh?"

Neji nodded politely and tried to project an air of interest. The guard had mentioned something about…maps? And clothes? He sighed internally and made his slow way to the privy, uncomfortably aware of the guard's hawkish presence at his back. The Tea Country dialect was nearly impossible to understand, filled with sharp glottal stops and tones he could barely catch, let alone differentiate. He had let Tenten and Lee do most of the talking and gesturing, preferring instead to sit in the cart and observe the change of landscape.

The mountains and green rolling hills were beautiful in the morning light, crowned with golden light and mist, the arc of the crane's flight clean against the majestic peaks. There were few forests, none the size of the Redwoods that covered his country and guarded Konoha; instead, verdant rice paddies stretched as far as the eye could see, broken only by the occasional thatched home and worker diligently tending his crops.

 _Who lives there / learning such loneliness?..._ , Neji mused, the words coiling into verse as he considered the rustic view that stretched out all around him. _The only sound, the clackers / That shoo away birds / In the mountain paddies…_

He reached the door of the outhouse and paused, mentally counting the seconds he had left. The bombs should have gone off by now, what was the—

Ah. Neji dived clumsily at the ground when a loud roar exploded in the distance, forcibly reminding himself that he was Zhang Bo, who had little to no athletic training at all and would never know how to do a proper tumble and somersault, let alone disappear at the drop of a coin. He looked up and saw that the guard had taken cover as well, clumsily unsheathing his sword with shaky hands.

 _He'll end up falling on that and killing himself_ , Neji observed with distaste and plastered on an appropriately cowed face when the guard crawled over to him, rusted sword in hand.

"Stay down!" the guard motioned with his free hand, pausing to adjust his lopsided helmet. "Don't move! Yer not a part of this, are ya?"

Neji tried to guess at the guard's words and eyed the sword with a wary eye. "Yes?" he hazarded, one of the few words and phrases he knew how to pronounce correctly (and he had already asked the other man where the nearest latrine was).

The guard visibly reddened and shook his sword angrily. Clambering up on shaky legs, the man roared, "Ye sneaky country southern bastard, you son of a pox-struck bowlegged whore, I'll rip yer bloody guts out and hang ye wif 'em, ye—"

The man dropped like a sack of rice, eyes rolling up instantly. Neji wiped his hands on his dark pants, trying to rub the grease off of his fingers. Perhaps he should have said _No_ instead.

* * *

Slipping into the empty guard post was almost laughably easy. There were few tripwires, no seals to detect and record new chakra presences, and a pitiful lock that he had cracked with only two picks.

Hidden deep within the shadows, he gave the nerve center of the outpost a long, considering look. A mess of desks piled up together, with stacks of paper covering most and filing cabinets lining one wall, it looked to be a bureaucratic heaven.

Searching through all of this would take time, something he hardly had. Neji sighed and pressed his fingers together, feeling the chakra abruptly coalesce around his eyes. With a whispered _Byakugan!_ , everything changed.

Colors faded until the world was tinted in shades of grey, bright whispers of blue chakra floating through the air like clouds of dust. He could see the forested mountain and the swift wing beats of the cranes as they hung effortlessly in the air, soaring gracefully on outstretched feathers. _Even though I spread my arms, / I can't fly anywhere. But… / The flying bird is, not like me...,_ Neji thought wistfully as the pair of birds soared above and beyond his vision.

Reluctantly, he pulled himself back with a grunt, forcing his chakra to focus. For a brief disorienting moment, he couldn't tell where he was, after-images of passing objects burned into his vision. But it cleared a moment later and he could make out the grain of the wooden desks and the minute writing on the paperwork ten yards away from him. _  
_

_If I were stupid enough to get caught smuggling opium into Fire Country, where would I sit…_

He funneled more and more chakra into his eyes, ignoring the warning throb that echoed behind his eyes and deep in his head. Slowly, he scanned every inch of the room, leaving no corner unseen, meticulously checking the contents of the locked desks and noting areas that looked to be of interest. _  
_

 _Ah._ The Captain's desk had a hidden drawer underneath it. And one of the lieutenants had a _very_ intriguing package tucked into the bottom of his footlocker. Neji released the burning chakra and color filtered back into his world, greys and blacks slowly replaced by vivid sunlight and stark green walls. He winced, pain lancing through his eyes, sharp and hot.

He had over extended himself far too quickly, necessary though it was. It was no matter. He would pay the price as many times as needed; it was worth it. Neji shook his head to clear his mind and padded over to the desk with the hidden drawer, reaching out with a tendril of chakra, prodding it carefully.

Locked but unsealed. Good. He risked a glance at the clock ticking in the corner—he had about fifteen minutes left before the guards were likely to return. Time was of the essence. Unrolling the lock pick kit he carried in his sleeve, he picked out a torsion wrench and slid it in—cheap lock, barely had any pins to speak of. Neji sniffed in disapproval; it looked large and menacing but hardly did its job as a security measure.

He pushed the wrench in gently and turned the plug with a delicate hand, into its offset position. The half-diamond slipped into his hand easily and into the lock—ah, too large. Neji picked out a smaller pick and slid it in, feeling the pins scrape against it. _One more time_ , he breathed and— _Byakugan!_

It took longer to focus this time and by the time his eyes could fix on the lock, the mild throbbing in his head had turned into a full-blown headache. But he could see the pins easily now and shifted all three of them into position, right on the shear line. A quick twist of his wrist, the torsion wrench turned and—

Neji paused and tilted his head. Right near the hairline crack between the edge of the drawer and the desk, something thin and white flashed briefly in his vision. _A splint_ , he realized and cursed himself. He should have checked earlier, should have been more careful, should have taken this more seriously. He was being careless.

He slid it out carefully with a delicate touch and placed it on top of the desk. It gleamed in the morning light, almost innocently. Again, he shook his head and turned his attention back to his work. _Focus_ , he reprimanded himself and pulled the wrench free of the lock.

The drawer slid open easily and he went through the contents with practiced eyes, noting down names and dates. Nothing unusual, but that was to be expected. Neji slid his hands under the top of the tops, feeling for the catch that would reveal the hidden cache of papers the Byakugan had burned into his mind.

The small _pop!_ and a panel of wood slid open. He allowed himself a thin smile and pulled out the papers, letting his Byakugan go as he did so. Here, now, things were more interesting. Promises of payment, letters of bribery—ah, that was a rather inventive threat. Neji hadn't known that ink brushes could be used to such persuasive effect. It seemed that the man who dealt with the Captain had a penchant for theatrics, demanding midnight meetings and threatening disembowlment.

Still, what an inelegant name. _Ping?_ He rifled through the rest of the papers, memorizing several of the missives and names mentioned, as well as the amount of money promised. And on one of the scrolls—how curious. Neji brought it closer to light and saw a distinctive wax seal embossed onto the rice paper: an exquisitely cut yarrow flower, imprinted in bloody red.

He checked the clock again and frowned at the sight of the ticking second hand. Seven minutes now. Neji carefully bundled the scrolls together, just as neatly as had found them and slid them back where they belonged. The drawer closed shut with a click, the deadbolt conveniently locking itself. The splint was tucked back into place as well and now he had five minutes to search the rest of the room.

He always did enjoy challenges.

* * *

"You two all right?"

Hwang pulled down the rim of his helmet and gave the two standing villagers—hadn't there been three?—an appraising glace, making sure that they very clearly saw the hand on his sword hilt. The woman looked a little hurt, judging by the way she was favoring her shoulder like that; probably thrown by the blast onto the ground and dislocated it. Her brother didn't look so good either—he looked two seconds from wetting himself and keeling over in a faint. His shirt looked a mess too, probably got hit by some of the flying sparks from the blast.

He spat onto the grass to clear his mouth. Bah, civilians. Hua was going on and on about the villagers being the bombers but Hwang figured that if they were the idiots attacking a guard outpost right next to Fire Country, they would probably have run away by now instead of sticking around and looking like they were going to throw up all over his boots.

"I—Honorable Guard—is everything—" The man, whatever his name –Cheung Han or Shan, Hwang guessed—started sputtering. "Is everything all right?"

"Just a minor explosives incident, nothing to worry about. We've already caught the idiot right before he was gonna do some more damage and he's being shuttled off to Shenzhen already." Well, not exactly, but best for the civilians to think that the matter was being handled; they didn't need to know that the Captain had fainted clean away and that the search for the possible suspect was halted by the fact that so did half the men.

The woman's eyes widened even more, if that were even possible, and she started whispering into her brother's ears. Cheung flinched a little and Hwang wondered what the two were jabbering about that had both of them looking like terrified rabbits.

"Our—our cousin. Have you seen him?" the woman asked stiltedly, words slurred by pain. "Zhang Bo—he went to the latrine earlier and…"

Ah, so that was the third one. "Probably knocked out by the blast," Hwang said cheerily. "He might still be in one piece, don't you worry."

The two blanched and Hwang belatedly realized that perhaps his words weren't as comforting as he had thought they would be.

"I'm sure he's fine, probably wandering around the place looking for the two of you. For now, you can wait in the outpost while we ask you some questions and check your papers—"

"Le—Cheung An, Cheung Mei! It is I!"

The mysteriously missing cousin popped out of the ground a few yards away, waving his arms energetically. "Hello!" the young man shouted, over and over again. "Hello!"

Hwang stared at him and then scratched his ear. There was always a weird one in every group. He sighed and patted the hilt of his sword, reassured by its heavy weight.

"See! He looks fine. Now get your things together, we'll have that shoulder of yours looked at and you'll be on your way by noon."

The woman bowed gracefully, surreptitiously kicking her brother's leg as she did so. "Be respectful," Hwang heard her hiss. "Didn't Mother teach you better?"

Cheung An bowed, shamefaced, and Hwang's estimation of the woman rose a few points. Really, she wasn't so bad-looking after all, even if her hips were too narrow and her chest too flat. Knew how to show proper respect and you didn't see that all too often from backwards country—

"HELLO!"

Hwang sighed again and jerked his thumb at the deranged man. "He always this…strange?"

The woman smiled crookedly and assured him, "He's been very good today. Normally, he's much worse."

* * *

As soon as the guard outpost was out of sight, Zhang Bo's buffoonish smile disappeared, leaving a hardened warrior's frown in its place. "Tell me what happened." It wasn't a request.

Tenten felt her hackles go up. "Nothing unusual," she said slowly, her voice measured.

"I simply miscalculated the blast range and positioned myself poorly. The resulting accident is my fault, not—"

"I wasn't talking to you. Lee, tell me what happened."

Lee froze in place, eyes wide and the cart lurched to stop with a harsh groan. Tenten swore under her breath and moved towards him, placing herself deliberately between the two men. Zhang Bo's dark brown eyes were no less piercing than Hyuuga pale. "He'll tell you the exact same thing, there's no reason to—"

"Let him speak for himself."

"I—" Lee began and then stopped, sweat plastering his dark hair to his head.

"Tenten's shoulder has been injured significantly enough to require a sling. Judging by the pattern of the bruising and bone fracture in her shoulder, a human grip seems a more likely perpetrator than a sudden impact with a tree. Furthermore, the fracture is in such a position that it would be impossible to be self-inflicted. The only people she had contact with today were the guards, you and myself. Seeing how I was occupied with other matters and returned only after the incident occurred and the guard arrived at nearly the same time as I did, the only person who knows the truth of the matter, aside from Tenten, would be you, Lee," Neji said dispassionately, his face unreadable. "Well?"

"Well, what? There's nothing to discuss," Tenten burst out, grey eyes flashing. "It's none of your business with what did or didn't happen."

"Even with minor healing jutsu, your arm will take approximately a week to recover its full potential. This will affect the team's performance in the mission and thus, concerns me as well."

"My injury is my fault alone and I'll take responsibility for any consequences. I already told you what happened and I'll make sure I don't hinder the team—"

"Stop it, Tenten. Please." Lee looked down at his calloused hands, worn and dirtied from a lifetime of fighting. "A man should take responsibility for his actions. It was me," he said miserably, eyes hooded. "I was the one who hurt her."

A long, tense silence stretched on, so heavy and raw that Tenten could hardly bear it. But all the anger and fight had gone out of her with Lee's quiet omission and now all she could feel was the burning ache in her shoulder and all she could see were Lee's blank, dead eyes looking straight into her soul. _He wasn't himself,_ she told herself stubbornly. _It's not his fault that he_ — _he_...

"I could have killed her."

Even Neji looked off-balance, as if the answer wasn't what he had expected to hear. "What happened?" he asked again, a little more gently.

"I don't know. One— one moment I was here and the next..." Lee looked up and the sheer anguish and self-loathing in them made Tenten take a step back. "I was back in the war. There was this little girl, a little genin girl lying at my feet all covered in blood. She couldn't have been more than ten. I killed her. I killed the little girl."

They spoke of it sometimes, in the dark underground tunnels and the grimy bars where old veterans liked to spend their nights. _War makes us all crazy_ , they whispered over their many bottles of cheap sake, eyes glazed with drink and memory. _It never goes away, you know. Sticks in your head and things that happened a long time ago seem like yesterday. Seen good, brave men cry like a baby and beg for their mamas, years and years after the fighting. War breaks us all._

But no one ever spoke of it in light of day. In the Academy they had never spoken of the nights curled up in the corner of a room with a kunai, wide-awake, waiting for the nightmares to stop. _Die for Konoha, for the Hokage!_ , they had taught and never about the moments when you slid your knife into a baby's throat or set entire villages on fire, burning hundreds alive. No one spoke of it, not in the mission rooms or in the green, beautiful parks where children and civilians played.

When you suffered, you suffered alone.

Tenten looked down at her right hand and saw her uselessness, her broken hands unable to form another seal or steadily hold a knife. And she saw what Lee saw in his own hands: the blood of thousands soaking into her skin, as wet and fresh as if it had just been spilled.

"Can you control it? These—visions of yours."

"...No."

There was a long, awkward silence before Neji spoke again, his voice toneless."You are a...liability, Lee. Surely you understand that. Your role in the mission will, from this point on, be strictly limited. You are also restricted from participating in future operations and from handling sensitive information. And I suggest that when we return, you request leave and reconsider your active duty status. Konoha does not need ninja that cannot perform their duties to the best of their abilities."

"I...understand. Thank you, Neji-san, for your consideration." Lee bowed deeply, hands swinging uselessly at his side.

Fury raged hot in Tenten's chest and she closed her eyes, trying to ignore the hot burn of frustrated tears. Neji was right— he was _right_ and that made it all the more infuriating, how calmly, how carefully he handled the situation. Like Lee was nothing but a broken tool he had to wrap and set aside, like Lee was _nothing_ to him at all.

"I'm— I can never forgive myself for what I did to you, Tenten. I'm sorry for—" Lee's voice broke and Tenten's heart with it.

She opened her eyes and saw a crushed man, so different from the friend who had picked her up a few days ago and swore that he would put the team back together with his bare hands. No—not different. When she looked in his eyes, she saw the guilt and the pain that she had looked over in favor of her own. How _blind_ she had been, thinking only of herself, of her own hands, of her own guilt and ignoring Lee's quiet despair. _Don't_ do _this,_ Tenten wanted to scream. _You're supposed to fix us. Everything. You're supposed to make it_ better _, you're not supposed to be just as damaged as the rest of us. You_ she choked out a simple, "It's not your fault. Don't—don't do this to yourself."

Lee opened his mouth to respond but Neji cut him off with a quick shake of his head. "What's done is done," he said quietly. "Whatever is going on can be sorted out after the mission ends. We're in a foreign country investigating a complicated issue with possible violent implications if we're caught. I suggest we move on to a safer location before we stop for the night."

Lee nodded and the cart started up again with a harsh creak, wheels squeaking as he pulled it down the dirt road. Neji followed him, his footsteps inaudible. Tenten bit her lip and finally let her hot and angry tears fall, the only witnesses her teammates' silent backs.

* * *

They ate in silence, with only the soft crackle of the fire and soft bird-calls their company for the night. Tenten was the last to finish, her right hand clumsy and awkward as she tried to unwrap the sticky ration bars single-handedly.

"Do you—"

"No," Tenten snapped, a little more sharply than she had intended. "I'm fine." Lee settled back onto his log and Tenten suppressed a sudden flare of irritation at him. She wasn't some _invalid_ and Lee didn't have to treat her like one, no matter how guilty or stupid he felt about it. She'd already said that everything was all right, he didn't have to keep acting— acting—

She threw the half-eaten bar into the fire, sending a rush of sparks into the sky. "Well, what'd you find?" she said curtly, ignoring the sudden twinge of pain in her shoulder.

"Are you—"

"Yes!" Tenten blew out a long breath and sighed, looking down at her peasant slippers. She shouldn't be so angry and out-of-control; what was wrong with her? "Sorry, just go on."

Neji laced his fingers together, elbows on his knees as he leaned forward and stared into the fire, as if it held all the answers of the world in its flames. "I found several interesting items of note but I will begin in the order that I discovered them. In the Captain's desk I found some correspondence between him and a messenger called Ping. Threats were exchanged, money changed hands and it seems that this specific border outpost is one of many where opium flows out of Tea. The Captain is bribed to overlook certain packages— it is illegal to travel with more than 500g of medicinal opium, though I doubt what Ping carries is meant to be beneficial."

Tenten snorted. "Medicinal? Please. It's just fodder for the opium dens popping up all over the cities in Fire and Tea."

Neji nodded. "In fact, I found blocks of the item secured in several footlockers, dispersed throughout the entire room. The shipment of the drug seems to be staggered and in this case, there is always a reserve at hand near the border. I also checked the payrolls and it seems that a large number of the Guards had resigned or disappeared in the past year or so; in fact, the retention rate of the men is quite low at this moment, with most averaging about two months of service before...leaving."

"Did it say why?"

"Family reasons, transfer of service...deserters."

Tenten frowned and bit the tip of her right thumb. "Hm. Does it say _where_ they're from? The new Guards, I mean."

The lines in Neji's face deepened as he considered the question. "Villages, not cities— the most common one, I remember, seemed to be Hongcun and Xidi. Most of the new guards seemed to cite them as their home villages."

"I'm not familiar with the names," Tenten admitted after a long silence. "They're not from the North or the South, but that's all I can tell you."

"West."

Tenten whipped her head towards at Lee. "How did you—"

"My grandmother was from Xidi," he said, looking down at his hands. "I learned how to speak a little of the language from her and she told me about her childhood. In her time, Xidi was under the governance of the Wu Clan."

"The Wu Clan," Tenten muttered, racking her brain. "Wu, Wu— I don't remember seeing them in Court, but that could mean nothing." Many rural _yangban_ families often came to court only once every few years to show their obeisance before the emperor and the Imperial Official Examination was often given in major cities outside of the Forbidden City— but it was strange. She had thought she had a passing familiarity with most of the _yanban_ families and she had never heard of a Wu _yangban_ in the West.

"The only _yangban_ families I can think of in the West right now are Zhao, Hua, Li, Wen, Xiao, Fu and Cheung," Tenten said, counting the names on her fingers. "There's no Wu that I know of."

"Maybe they changed their name?" Lee asked doubtfully.

"Impossible." Tenten shook her head. "There's power in a name; no matter how disgraced they might be, they would never change it. The only possibilities I can think of are: either you remembered wrongly, or the Wu Clan has no living male heir."

Neji coughed lightly and both Tenten and Lee started. "The Wu _yangban_?" he asked, arching a brow.

"Yes, the Wu _yangban_ — oh." Tenten bit down on her mouth before she could laugh and struggled to keep a straight face. How could she have forgotten? Neji was Hyuuga, born and bred Fire Country for countless generations. He knew how to sit seiza perfectly, how to navigate the Fire Daimyo's tricky court, was a master of the art of _renga_ and conversed equally well on the beauty of the spring blossoms and the strength behind a punch. He was Fire Country nobility. And he had no idea what Tea Country was like.

"Tea Country has three classes," Lee began, his eyes bright and merry for the first time in hours. "The _yangban_ , the _chungin_ and the _sangmin._ "

"No—no, there's four. Don't forget about the _baekjeong_ ," Tenten interrupted. "They're divided into the _hwachae, suchae_ and the _jaein._ The _baekjeong_ are the lowest class of all; they have a monopoly on several trades and they're usually the gravediggers and the butchers. They're sort of like the _burakumin_ of Rice Country."

"Four," Lee nodded, accepting her correction. "The _yangban_ are the nobility of the land and they act as the officials and bureaucrats of the government. By taking a national test—"

"Gwageo," Tenten interjected.

"Right, which is open to all. By passing, they and all immediate family members are automatically granted _yangban_ status, the elite of the elite. They oversee villages and most work as officials for the Emperor in the Imperial Court."

"If you don't have a male _yangban_ official again within three generations, you're stripped of your title," Tenten said, her eyes thoughtful. "Which could have happened to the Wu Clan. But it's strange, because it so rarely happens. The _yangban_ dominate the court— they're the only ones who have the time and money to study the Classics for the exam. Of course, they could be out of favor with court and don't take the exam, but the Western villages are—" Tenten caught Neji and Lee's blank looks and stopped, pink slightly tinging her cheeks. "Politics," she muttered and gestured for Lee to continue.

"Then there're the _chungin_ , which act like the civilians of our village. They're the scribes, the artisans, the shopkeepers, the musicians, physicans, minor military officers. Some have to take civil service examinations to serve in Court as well. And the lowest class—that's us by the way— are the _sangmin_. The peasants who live in the villages and work the land; they're conscripted into the army, pay the taxes and serve the country with their backs. It's a hard life," Lee said. "My grandmother escaped and fled to Fire when the military drafted her four brothers and the family could hardly pay the taxes, let alone eat. She found asylum in Fire and never left."

He turned towards Tenten, his face expectant. "Isn't Jia-san from Tea as well?" he inquired politely.

"Oh— oh, yeah. Yes. She is." She nodded stiffly and tugged on her sling; it suddenly was a little too tight for comfort. "She left thirty years ago, after the clash between Chiu and Zhang families." At Neji's interested look, she elaborated, "The more powerful _yangban_ have entire cities, sometimes large counties, under their control. Tens of villages to tax and live off of; the wealthiest maintain houses and even personal guards in all the major cities. Tianjin, which is where we're assigned, has been under the control of the Zhang Clan for hundreds of years. Maybe even thousands. The only ones who can trace their line back that far are the Zhang of the East, the Chiu of the South, the Li of the West, and the Qing, Heavenly House of the Emperor. My mother left— after some intense political infighting."

"I see."

"They have emblems as well, seals to show the nobility and power of the Four Clans. These days it's the fashion to have a pretty flower-seal representing your _yangban_ status, but it's a joke. The only real power belongs to—"

"The yarrow flower," Neji breathed. "So that's what it was." He leaned forward, brown eyes bright.

"Yarrow?"

"On the messages, right next to Ping's name— there was a yarrow stamped right next to his name."

"Ah!" _Now we're getting somewhere,_ Tenten thought in delight. "A _yangban_ is definitely involved then, but not from the main four clans."

"So we have Lin Wei's sons in Tanzaku Gai, men from the Western villages suddenly appearing like Xidi, and a minor yangban with a yarrow crest," Lee ticked off his fingers. "And now our mission to Tianjin where the Zhang Clan rules. Where is it all leading to? What does it mean?"

"It means we're close," Tenten smiled wolfishly, teeth gleaming in the firelight. "Very, very close."

* * *

"I don't understand why we're the ones who have to do all—this." Tenten waved a hand at her dusty peasant clothing. "Well, I _do_ ," she added hastily at Lee's mild look. "I know that you and I are better at speaking—though I wonder if he's just faking it sometimes—and he has his doujutsu to help him search, but it seems like he gets to have all the fun while we deal with a grumpy farmer."

"Do you think we'll get a meal out of it?" Lee wondered, completely ignoring Tenten.

"Lee! Are you even listening to me?"

"No," he said cheerfully, never breaking stride as he dodged her light punch. "You act just like Keiko sometimes. I can't help but ignore you."

"Keiko?" Tenten asked, searching her memory and coming up blank.

"One of my genin," Lee said, smiling fondly. "Cruel, sadistic and tiny. She's great, you'd love her."

"You're comparing me to a _ten year old._ "

"...No?" This time Lee did look mildly terrified as Tenten glared at him beadily. "Just a little?"

"Forget it," Tenten huffed but she stifled a relieved smile. Lee had finally cheered up after— after the incident a few days ago. It had been strange, walking besides a quiet and frowning Lee. No matter what he did, Lee was never quiet. When he cried, he cried loudly; when he trained, he trained hard; when he laughed, you could hear it halfway across the world. A quiet Lee seemed almost oxymoronic. Impossible.

It seemed like the chance to do something, anything, the opportunity to prove himself had kicked him out of his slump and back into form. _Still_ , Tenten considered, watching him from the corner of her eyes. She could see the disquiet in his eyes, heard the pain in his voice, finally saw the scars that he had kept hidden from the world and she wondered, a little lost, how she could have ever missed it before.

 _You wanted to fix us because you thought that would fix_ you _too_. But Tenten looked away and down at her feet. _I'm sorry, Lee. But we're all just too_ — _broken and fucked up to be anything together again. I'm sorry I didn't see it._

_I'm sorry._

"Neji said the farmer was alone in his house, right?"

Tenten snapped back to awareness and gave him a brief nod. "He's in the kitchen, working on something. Probably watching a boiling pot. He needs ten, maybe fifteen minutes in the house while we keep the farmer busy outside."

"I can handle basic conversation but anything harder than that—"

"Don't worry," Tenten said reassuringly. "I've got you covered. Just follow my lead. Remember, it's _yes, and_."

"Yes, and, ma'am," Lee grinned and gave her a mock salute.

"Funny."

They finally reached the door of the house and Tenten looked at it appraisingly. It was in much better condition than the other houses they had seen in the village: for one, it wasn't marked with dirt and grime nor was it a pile of ash on the ground. While passing through the village, she had spotted several empty plots filled with sooty earth, half-burnt straw and broken timber. Whatever had happened, it was deliberate. She should know. Tenten had set hundreds of houses on fire. _They've been through here_ , she thought grimly. _Whoever the yangban are using to bully the villagers into this._

It seemed a little too coincidental that the illegal opium farmer that Neji had spotted while scouting had a nice house as well. With a heavy heart, she raised her hand and knocked firmly.

"Hello?" she called out gently. "Is anyone there? Hello?" Her sharp ears heard the _thump-thump_ of heavy boots on wooden floorboards and in a few seconds the door swung open without a sound ( _well oiled_ , her mind automatically noted).

"Who is it?" the farmer demanded gruffly, scratching his beard with a large, calloused hand and holding a long pipe with another. His thick black hair, peppered only with a few strands of white, was tied into a long queue, which swung down his back and over a shirt of good cotton.

Tenten discreetly kicked Lee in the calf and he flinched. "Ah— excuse me, ah, my name is Cheung An and this is my sister, Cheung Mei." He gestured towards himself and Tenten, smiling brightly. "Honorable Sir, we're traveling to Tianjin and we were wondering if you would be so kind as to guide us in the right direction?"

"Tianjin, eh?" the farmer puffed, sucking on his pipe for a long moment. "What've you got to do with them city folk? No good business mixing with those kinds, especially not those Eastern people. They like to talk too much, like slippery eels. They'll cheat you and your grandmother out of an honest day's wage."

"We're from the West," Tenten put in timidly, rubbing her injured shoulder for effect. "And we— well, we lived in Yunnan but last year's monsoon rains—" She shook her head, unable to speak any longer.

"Ai!" The farmer clucked his tongue in sympathy. "Too much, too soon," he agreed. "We lost nearly all of our rice last year; the poor young stalks could hardly bear the weight. It was a miracle our tea bushes survived."

"And they raised the taxes again," Lee muttered, shamefaced and Tenten almost walloped him. He was laying it on a little too thick. They were ordinary Tea Country peasants, not the poor and tragic heroes of a dime novel. "We could hardly— we have six brothers and sisters, Honorable Sir. Cheung Mei and I decided that we would be better off working elsewhere, sending money back to our families. And I thought I would be able to find Cheung Mei a good man, someone who could provide for her."

"You have an honorable, dutiful older brother," the farmer told Tenten, his voice approving. "If I had such a son, I would count my blessings every day!"

"Eldest Brother has always been very good to me," Tenten murmured, eyes demure. "If only— we met some bandits on the way here and—" She rubbed her shoulder again, wincing visibly.

"The road from the West is always dangerous," the farmer sighed and rubbed his pipe on the hem of his shirt. "Every year they raise the taxes and for what? They haven't even paved the roads and the little guards there are, waste their time drinking themselves to sleep. They spend all the money on their parties and their palaces and with what little left, they try to govern this nation. Bah!" The farmer spat on the dusty ground.

"We even tried appealing to the local officials but there was nothing they could do." Lee sighed, wide eyes desolate. "Our only hope is Tianjin. I heard that the lord is generous and the city filled with riches. Even if we worked just a year, we could feed our families for ten times that!"

But the farmer frowned and raised his pipe to his lips, smoke billowing from his nose in soft gusts. "There's a new young lord, now, after the old one died from heart disease. They say he spills gold whenever he walks and spends his nights in the pleasure quarters, hardly ever leaving to see to matters of importance. The Council mostly governs, but they're all _yangban_." He waved his pipe dismissively. "You should be careful in Tianjin. You never know who might be listening."

 _Not just in Tianjin_ , Tenten observed to herself, grey eyes watchful.

"You have been most generous, Honorable Sir." Lee and Tenten bowed deeply, braided hair swinging as they moved in unison.

"It was nothing, it was nothing," he said, cheeks flushing. "And enough with that _Honorable Sir_ nonsense; we are the same, you and I. Good, solid, farmer stock. Call me Fong."

"Fong," Lee agreed. "Then you must call me An, and my sister, Mei. We are honored to make your acquaintance, Sir."

They clasped hands briefly and exchanged another set of deep, respectful bows. "Ah," Farmer Fong said expansively, leaning against the doorjamb. "If my son grew to be like you, Cheung An, I would be a proud man."

"A son?" Tenten asked, eyes keen.

"My little boy," Fong said fondly, fingering his pipe. "Just passed his fifth birthday. Why, if you could just see him— chattering about everything and anything. He's at that troublesome age, but still, he's a good boy."

"Sounds like my youngest brother," Tenten said softly. "Always underfoot, never deterred by a closed door or a warning."

"Exactly! Ah, but I have plans for him. I've been saving up, you know," he added softly, eyes glittering. "He's going to make something of himself. Soon, I'll have enough to send him to the Master's House, where he'll learn the Classics and he'll know how to read, unlike his old man. Maybe he'll even take the _gwageo_ , make the name Fong into something, eh? My son, a _yangban!_ " He laughed his dreams off, but Tenten heard the longing in his voice and saw the pride in his eyes.

 _You want_ — _no, you_ need _something so much that you'll even ruin your honor and your pride for it. For your son, you'd move heaven and earth, even if it means breaking the law._

"Who knows?" Tenten said lightly. "Who knows?"

* * *

The blades gleamed in the sunlight, the dull and cloudy surface of the metal reflecting back a mottled and stretched version of his face. Of Zhang Bo's face.

Neji ran a light finger over the cluster of blades, careful not to let the keen edges rub against his skin. He frowned and narrowed his eyes at the slender tool in his hand. There was something strange covering the surface, as if—ah. With a blunt fingernail he scraped off a tiny flake of the strange, yellowish-white mucus that streaked the knife and held it to his nose.

 _Poppy juice_ , he thought grimly. Judging by the consistency and smell, no more than a few hours old. He had seen the petal-less poppy flowers scattered throughout the fields surrounding the house; the man had enough for maybe an acre or so of poppy capsules, which were all currently ripe and ready for harvest. No doubt the blade had been used earlier today to cut into the seeds and harvest the thick white juice. Illegally.

Gently, he set the tool down back on the desk and continued his search, chakra steadily filtering through his eyes and enlarged veins. There was nothing of use in the drawers; the farmer hardly kept any written records of his accounts, his crop yields, his yearly income, tax forms and records—nothing useful or incriminating enough for him to look at, unless he counted the lack of a proper poppy farming license. The corner of his mouth twitched down in disapproval.

Useless and sentimental knick-knacks on the shelves, a poor imitation of a plum blossom painting hanging on the wall (Neji sniffed in distaste as he looked at the inelegant brush strokes that looked more like chopsticks than branches), a few black and white photos clumsily framed on the wall…

His fingers froze on a picture of a three laughing children, not quite daring to touch their blurry and motionless faces. Neji could hardly see their smiles, but the way they clung together, tight, arms linked—they looked happy.

 _We're your_ friends _, Neji._

A ragged breath caught at the base of his throat and he closed his eyes, willing the faint voices in his mind to fade away.

 _You're on a mission. Focus_ , he told himself fiercely, ignoring the dull throbbing remnants of yesterday's headache. _You can't afford to lose control. Failure is not an option._

He drew his hand away and turned, his back to the gray and giggling faces. They were nothing to him—they were nuisances, annoying failures that didn't know their duty to the Village. He needed to focus on the here and now instead of dwelling on the useless past, like—like Lee and his foolish waking dreams. Neji's nails dug bloody red crescents into his palm, the pain sharp and clear against his muddied thoughts. _Tea Country. Mission. Concentrate._

But as he bent down to check underneath the heavy wooden desk, his traitorous mind whispered, _but aren't you the one who failed them? You let the team down. You_ killed _him. You killed Gai-sensei._

Neji pressed a hand to his aching temples, every word striking a hammer against his head. _I didn't—he—he was going to die—I didn't mean to—I was so tired—_

_I didn't mean to kill him._

A pair of blank dead eyes was the last thing he saw before his thoughts faded and the darkness overwhelmed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was absolutely floored by the fantastic responses from all of you and I just want to thank all of you for sticking with this, reading and responding- it means a great deal to me.
> 
> I have done the best I can to accurately portray the difficulties of living with PTSD but I am bound to make mistakes; any errors here are my fault and I apologize. I have dramatized several elements of PTSD (positive and negative psychotic symptoms, etc.) in order to fit the needs of the story but I have tried my best to respect the gravity of the matter.
> 
> Notes:  
> yangban: I was doing research on East Asian culture and I was intrigued by the social structure of Korea during the Joseon Dynasty and it suited the needs of the story, so I've incorporated it here. Though I've based Tea Country largely on China, I've also incorporated elements of both Korean and Japanese society (as seen here) to create a fusion society...which so happens to be called Tea Country.  
> PTSD: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In short: a type of anxiety disorder that occurs "post-trauma" or after being exposed to a traumatic event. Flashbacks, frequently having upsetting thoughts and memories, having strong feelings of distress, feeling distant from others, making an effort to avoid places or people that remind you of the traumatic event, etc. are all symptoms of this disorder.  
> Poetry Mentioned: Tenten recites a collection of haiku by Matsuo Basho called travel sketches; Neji, snobby Hyuuga warrior that he is, quotes fragments of Saigyo's poetry and a line from "Me, The Bird, And The Bell" by Mizuzu Kaneko.
> 
> And finally, I want to thank eryxl, who has been the best beta a writer could ever ask for. Without eryxl's help, this chapter would not exist and I would still be procrastinating and watching cat videos. Thank you.


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